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I came crawling home last night, like many nights before: |
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I finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door. |
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And she said, "You're not gonna do this anymore." |
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She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home, |
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"So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam. |
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"We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall. |
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"And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall." |
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She said: "Just bring your Friday paycheck, and I'll cash them all right here. |
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"And I'll keep on tap - for all your friends, their favorite Hamm's Beer. |
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"And for you, I'll always keep in stock, those soft aluminum cans. |
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"And when you're feeling macho, you can crush them like a man." |
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She said: "We'll rip out all the carpet, and put sawdust on the floor. |
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"Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels, and I won't cook no more. |
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"There'll be Monday night football, on T.V. above the bar. |
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"And a pay phone in the hallway, when your friends can't find their car." |
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She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home, |
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"So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam. |
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"We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall. |
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"And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall." |
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She said: "You'll get friendly service, and for added atmosphere. |
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"I'll slip on something sexy, and I'll cut it clear to here. |
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"Then you can slap my bottom, every time you tell a joke. |
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"Just as long as you keep tipping, well, I'll laugh until you're broke." |
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She said: "Instead of family quarrels, we'll have a bar-room brawl, |
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"When the Ham's bear say's its closing time, you won't have far to crawl. |
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"And when you run out of money, you'll have me to thank. |
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"You can sleep it off next morning, when I'm putting it in the bank." |
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She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino, to decorate our home, |
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"So you can feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam. |
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"When you and your friends get off from work, and have a powerful thirst. |
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"There won't be any reason, why you can't stop off here first." |
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She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home, |
|
"So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam. |
|
"We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall. |
|
"And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall." |