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You know parents are the same |
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No matter time nor place |
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They don't understand that us kids |
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Are going to make some mistakes |
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So to you other kids all across the land |
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There's no need to argue |
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Parents just don't understand |
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I remember one year |
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My mom took me school shopping |
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It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and my little sister |
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All hopped in the car |
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We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall |
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My mom started bugging with the clothes she chose |
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I didn't say nothing at first |
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I just turned up my nose |
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She said, "What's wrong? This shirt cost $20" |
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I said, "Mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!" |
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The next half hour was the same old thing |
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My mother buying me clothes from 1963 |
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And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate |
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I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips! |
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I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep" |
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She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't have a rep yet" |
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I said, "Mom, let's put these clothes back, please" |
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She said "no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show" |
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I said, "This isn't Sha Na Na, come on Mom, I'm not Bowzer |
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Mom, please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers |
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But if you don't want to I can live with that but |
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You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks" |
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She wasn't moved - everything stayed the same |
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Inevitably the first day of school came |
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I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick |
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But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it" |
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There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax |
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I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts |
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And when I walked into school, it was just as I thought |
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The kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes Mom bought |
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And those who weren't laughing still had a ball |
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Because they were pointing and whispering |
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As I walked down the hall |
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I got home and told my Mom how my day went |
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She said, "If they were laughing you don't need them, |
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"Cause they're not good friends" |
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For the next six hours I tried to explain to my Mom |
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That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times |
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So to you other kids all across the land |
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There's no need to argue |
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Parents just don't understand |
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Oh-kay, here's the situation |
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My parents went away on a week's vacation and |
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They left the keys to the brand new Porsche |
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Would they mind? |
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Umm, well, of course not |
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I'll just take it for a little spin |
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And maybe show it off to a couple of friends |
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I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood |
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Well, maybe I shouldn't |
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Yeah, of course I should |
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Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot |
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I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block |
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That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking |
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I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking |
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You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions |
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I honked my horn just to get her attention |
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She said, "Was that for me?" |
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I said, "Yeah" |
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She said, "Why?" |
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I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy" |
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She said, "How do I know you're not sick? |
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You could be some deranged lunatic" |
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I said, "C'mon toots - my name is the Prince = |
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Beside, would a lunatic have a Porsche like this?" |
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She agreed and we were on our way |
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She was looking very good and so was I, I must say - word |
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We hit McDonald's, pulled into the drive |
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We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes |
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She kicked her shoes off onto the floor |
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She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on" |
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She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas |
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We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast |
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The sun roof was open , the music was high |
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And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh |
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She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far |
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I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car |
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We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche |
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And to make this long story short - short |
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When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell |
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I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer" |
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I almost had a heart attack that day |
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Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway |
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I was arrested, the car was impounded |
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There was no way for me to avoid being grounded |
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My parents had to come off from vacation to get me |
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I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me |
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My parents walked in |
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I got my grip, I said, "Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?" |
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They didn't speak |
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I said, "I want to plead my case" |
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But my father just shoved me in the car by my face |
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That was a hard ride home, I don't know how I survived |
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They took turns - |
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One would beat me while the other one was driving |
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I can't believe it, I just made a mistake |
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Well parents are the same no matter time nor place |
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So to you other kids all across the land |
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Take it from me |
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Parents just don't understand |