| Song | Consolation Prize (Glasgow School Version) |
| Artist | Orange Juice |
| Album | Coals to Newcastle |
| A thousand violins will play it for you | |
| While you sit and roll your deep blue eyes | |
| A thousand to win, a thousand you lose | |
| But I'll be your consolation prize | |
| All you do is sigh | |
| I wore my frings like Roger McGuinn's | |
| I was hoping to impress | |
| So frightfully camp, it made you laugh | |
| Tomorrow I'll buy myself a dress | |
| How ludicrous | |
| I don't mean to pry but didn't that guy | |
| Crumple up your face a thousand times? | |
| He made you cry | |
| I'll be your consolation prize | |
| Although I know | |
| I'll never be man enough for you |