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Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie |
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At least all his people tell him so |
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And while he thinks that she's a very special lady |
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It's probably not the way he'd choose to go |
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But a lifetime of longing looks would cause too much distraction |
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Good thing that he's not gay anymore |
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Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy |
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Just be glad it's him, not you |
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If you had Tom Cruise's troubles |
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You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too |
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You'd flash your big white shiny smile |
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And buy expensive shoes |
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But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no |
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You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise |
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Tom Cruise is always getting older |
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He knows he'll never be that young again |
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And when Tom Cruise looks back over his shoulder |
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He sees a thousand younger leading men |
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He knows someday he'll have to play |
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An old, retarded grandpa |
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While someone younger plays his sexy son |
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Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy |
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Just be glad it's him, not you |
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If you had Tom Cruise's troubles |
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You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too |
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You'd flash your big white shiny smile |
|
And buy expensive shoes |
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But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no |
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You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise |
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Tom Cruise hopes somewhere there's a place for him |
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Because he's not of this world anymore |
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Somewhere in some secluded castle |
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Poor Tom Cruise sits staring at the wall |
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And the outside world is always such a hassle |
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Sometimes he won't go out at all |
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There are millions who know his name |
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Everybody loves him |
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Why is it that he feels so alone? |
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Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy |
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Just be glad it's him, not you |
|
If you had Tom Cruise's troubles |
|
You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too |
|
You'd flash your big white shiny smile |
|
And buy expensive shoes |
|
But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no |
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You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise |