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Ladies and Gentleman, the mayor of New York. |
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Good morning. |
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It's been brought to my attention that many rap artists |
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claim that they run New York. |
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But this is not the case. |
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In fact, I wrote my own song about what it's really like. |
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Please excuse the profanity in advance. |
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Hit it. |
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I run New York! |
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New York, big city of dreams |
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and you know that I run this town |
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king of the streets, dressed in concrete |
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skyscrapers on my crown |
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. |
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So if you want this Big Apple |
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come try to take a bite! |
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Cause I run this motherfucking city |
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and I won't give it up without a fight! |
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. |
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Yo I run New York |
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It's a pain in the ass |
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The city's crowded as fuck |
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and it's covered in trash |
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and the sanitation chief just shoveled shit in my face |
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another transit strike? aw, fucking great! |
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I can't wait to have another meeting with the labor union |
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so that Mark can bend me over and then shove their fucking shoe in |
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but I do it so you can sip your pumpkin lattes |
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I literally run New York and it's exhausting! |
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. |
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I run New York |
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it's a fucking headache |
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it really wears you down |
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in this lake of bureaucratic bullshit |
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it's a miracle I don't drown! |
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. |
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I don't literally run New York |
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I run the marathon |
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plus I organize it |
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so I double run the marathon |
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but no one seems to give a fuck that I'm a paragon |
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instead they photoshop me so it's looking like I wear a thong |
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so they laugh at it in my own office when I'm gone |
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went to the Nick's game and they booed me on the Jumbo Tron |
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excuse me for trying to help you |
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they won't be satisfied till I'm locked up in Belleview |
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I guess they don't tell you this job sucks dick! |
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I run New York and it feels like shit! |
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. |
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The chief of Police is a major bully |
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he laughs at my ideas |
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he made fun of my tie last week |
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and I had to fight back tears! |
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. |
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Now on the surface, it probably looks like I should quit |
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cause I spend every day getting punched in the dick |
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but at night I travel down into the subway |
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wearing chain mail, locked and loaded for gun play |
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and battle the gigantic fire breathing mutant rats |
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if I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that? |
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I'll give you a hint, the answer is no one |
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that's why I'm in the sewer dressed up like a show gun |
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cause I'm the equinox |
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I helped James Springs |
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releasing hounds reef in the blood of kings |
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and no one even knows, they just think I'm a dork |
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but I still kill those fucking dogs, cause I run New York! |
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. |
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I run New York |
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it's a shitty gig |
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no overtime in my pay |
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I asked the city for a fucking bonus |
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and they said no fucking way! |
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so rotten is this big apple |
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it's crawling with worms inside |
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but I run this motherfucking shit hole city and it makes me want to die! |
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. |
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I run New York! |
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Thank you. |
