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PAULETTE |
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(spoken) |
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Elle, do you know the number one reason behind all bad hair decisions? |
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Love! |
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(sung) You're lost without your love |
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Your heart is on the floor |
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I can help you |
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I've been there before! |
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When I need to relax |
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I just put on some tracks |
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From this CD I bought for the store |
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(Celtic chanting) |
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(spoken) Isn't that relaxing? It's called CELTIC MOODS! |
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(sung) When I'm lonely or feeling dejected |
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I play this and it never fails |
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I pretend like I'm in Ireland |
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With Enya and the whales |
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When my telephone gets disconnected |
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Or I spend every night alone |
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I pretend like I'm in Ireland |
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Where the Irish bagpipes drone |
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Smell the grass as a rainstorm is endin' |
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People smile while I stroll past their farms |
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With a redheaded sailor named Brendan |
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And we dance without moving our arms |
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In a bar once I met this guy Dewey |
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And he bought me like 14 beers |
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And he told me that he was from Ireland |
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So I lived with him 10 years |
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If I squinted he looked like my sailor |
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Through my boozy delusional fog |
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But he dumped me for some slut named Kayla |
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Took my trailer and took my dog |
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In Ireland they know how to love you |
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You embrace in the misty Irish breeze |
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And if your Irish boy tires of you |
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You're allowed to shoot him in the knees |
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Hey, you look like that poster for Ireland |
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Long blonde hair and the sweet sunny face |
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Oh no wait that's the poster for Sweden |
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Oh screw it. I'll never see either place! |
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But a girl sweet as you has a future |
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You have hope as each new day dawns |
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Girls like you always get to see Ireland |
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Give my love to the leprechauns |