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Through the bars of a large enclosure |
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The village ladies intently stared, |
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Where a gorilla with massive composure |
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Was impassively combing his hair. |
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They were shamelessly interested, |
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Eyeing devoutly a certain spot, |
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But me mother's especially requested |
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I refrain from telling you what. |
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Brother Gorilla! |
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The door of the circus lock-up, |
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Where the noble brute had been put, |
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By an administrational cock-up |
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Was unwisely left unshut |
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'I'm going to lose it at last,' he cried, |
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Swinging lissomely out of his cage, |
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Referring, of course, to his chastity: |
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He was just at the difficult age |
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Brother Gorilla! |
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Those self-same ladies who previously |
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Had been licking their lips from afar |
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Did a bunk, which shows how devious |
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And whimsical women are. |
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In the path of the lovesick monkey |
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There were two who wouldn't budge: |
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A little old lady all shrunken, |
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And a petty sessions judge. |
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Brother Gorilla! |
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The old girl said 'It would be surprising |
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And unlikely in the extreme |
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If anyone found me appetising, |
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And beyond my wildest dreams!' |
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The judge intoned with tranquillity: |
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'To take me for a female ape |
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Would be the height of improbability'. |
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Even judges make mistakes. |
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Brother Gorilla! |
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It would be curious and uncanny, |
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Say, if the choice were up to you |
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To ravish a judge or a granny |
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And you didn't know which to do. |
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If I were in such a position |
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And the choice had got to be mine, |
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I'd beg the old lady's permission |
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But go for grandma every time. |
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Brother Gorilla! |
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Though the gorilla is very proficient |
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In the role of a paramour |
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His mental equipment's deficient |
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And his eyesight's awfully poor. |
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With a palaeolithic leer |
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He gave the old lady the miss |
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And, grabbing the judge by the ear, |
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Gave him an introductory kiss. |
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Brother Gorilla! |
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In time the gorilla's desires |
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Were more or less gratified. |
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The judge, being rather biased, |
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Couldn't see the funny side. |
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He was kicking and screaming and wailing |
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When his moment of truth had come, |
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Like those wretches he orders daily |
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To be taken away and hung. |
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Brother Gorilla! |
