[00:14.320] |
I am the very model of a modern Major-General, |
[00:16.540] |
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, |
[00:18.750] |
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, |
[00:21.220] |
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; |
[00:23.400] |
I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical, |
[00:26.890] |
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, |
[00:29.430] |
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news--- |
[00:35.510]With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.[00:38.350] |
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[00:47.790] |
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, |
[00:50.230] |
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; |
[00:52.680] |
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, |
[00:55.260] |
I am the very model of a modern Major-General. |
[00:57.540] |
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[01:05.050] |
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's, |
[01:07.440] |
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox, |
[01:09.860] |
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus, |
[01:12.760] |
In conics I can floor peculiarities parablous. |
[01:16.170] |
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies, |
[01:19.080] |
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes, |
[01:21.810] |
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. |
[01:25.670] |
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[01:41.590] |
Then I can write a washing bill in Balylonic cuneiform, |
[01:44.190] |
And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform; |
[01:46.630] |
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, |
[01:49.200] |
I am the very model of a modern Major-General. |
[01:51.490] |
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[01:59.830] |
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin", |
[02:03.270] |
When I can tell at sight a chassep?t rifle from a javelin, |
[02:06.450] |
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at, |
[02:09.950] |
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat", |
[02:14.240] |
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, |
[02:17.490] |
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery: |
[02:20.940] |
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy, |
[02:31.400] |
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee--- |
[02:38.180] |
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For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, |
[02:45.840] |
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; |
[02:48.380] |
But still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, |
[02:50.860] |
I am the very model of a modern Major-General. |