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{sound of static} |
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[announcer] |
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Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. |
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Fed up with life and the way things are going, |
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he decides to rob a liquor store. |
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("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes") |
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But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. |
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And suddenly, his conscience comes into play... |
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[Dr. Dre] |
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Alright, stop! (Huh?) |
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Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store |
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and try to get money out the drawer |
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You better think of the consequence (But who are you?) |
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I'm your motherfuckin conscience |
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[Eminem] |
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That's nonsense! |
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Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs |
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And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs |
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Tell her you need a place to stay |
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You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade |
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[Dr. Dre] |
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Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to |
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The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you |
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Think about it before you walk in the door first |
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Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns |
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[Eminem] |
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Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! |
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Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich? |
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Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? |
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Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids? |
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[Dr. Dre] |
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Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!) |
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Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!) |
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Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you |
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(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..) |
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("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute") |
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("Look baby..") |
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("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?") |
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[announcer] |
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Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!") |
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After meeting a young girl at a rave party, |
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things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. |
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Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!") |
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[Eminem] |
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Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek |
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and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink |
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Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe.. |
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(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old |
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You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair) |
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Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!) |
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Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare |
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Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there |
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(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?) |
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No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest! |
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(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?) |
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Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail.. |
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[announcer] |
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Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. |
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After coming home from a hard day's work, |
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he walks in the door of his trailer park home |
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to find his wife in bed with another man. |
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("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!") |
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[Dr. Dre] |
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Alright calm down, relax, start breathin.. |
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[Eminem] |
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Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin |
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While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?! |
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FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!! |
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[Dr. Dre] |
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Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit? |
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(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!) |
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Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady |
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But think about the baby before you get all crazy |
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[Eminem] |
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Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her? |
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Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? |
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That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard |
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You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??! |
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[Dr. Dre] |
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What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?) |
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I'ma kill you motherfucker! |
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[Eminem] |
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Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper! |
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Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? |
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Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way? |
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How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent? |
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[Dr. Dre] |
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Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went |
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Been there, done that.. aw fuck it... |
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What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at? |