| Got eighteen months for espionage | |
| Too much brandy for breakfast | |
| And people tend to let you down | |
| It's a swine. | |
| Fantastic life | |
| Dole penicillin to eastern ching plague-ridden | |
| And one thing I have found | |
| What you cast out will hit back | |
| And a man will find he has to deny his | |
| Fantastic life | |
| Ours is not to look back | |
| Ours is to continue the crack | |
| Met a 54 year old dustbin man | |
| And '48 he'd been in Jerusalem | |
| Sold surplus oil to Arab fighters | |
| For M-cocktails to burn Jewish terrorists | |
| What a turn-up! | |
| Fantastic life | |
| Style's too easy to buy nowadays | |
| And there's interference with the mail | |
| And you just can't get out the words | |
| Some people think if they had a job they'd be well | |
| Now! | |
| A fantastic lie! | |
| The Siberian mushroom Santa | |
| Was in fact Rasputin's brother | |
| And he didst walk round Whitechapel | |
| To further the religion of forgiven sin murder | |
| Fantastic lie! | |
| No lie, friend called David | |
| He said he had a barney on Corporation Street | |
| He said he told the policeman what he really thought | |
| But knowing him I don't believe that crap | |
| A Fantastic lie | |
| And I just thought I'd tell you | |
| And I just thought I'd tell you | |
| About fantastic life | |
| And I just thought I'd tell you | |
| Some fantastic lies | |
| And I just thought I'd tell you | |
| And I just thought I'd tell you | |
| I walked right (West) round Wakefield Jail | |
| A fantastic life | |
| And I just thought I'd tell you | |
| And I just thought I'd tell you |