| His heart organ was where it should be | |
| His brain was in his arse | |
| His hand was well out of his pocket | |
| His psyche's in the hearth | |
| Had a beard which was weird | |
| Some time ago heard ramones in '81 | |
| Has a spanish guitar | |
| Real ale, curry as well - sophisticate! | |
| Spanish guitar doesn't get far | |
| In computer teaching job | |
| His dreamgirl sings adverts for the weetabix | |
| A fancied wit that's imitation of rumpole of bailey | |
| Who's causes and rags were phoenix-like | |
| They were do-do like | |
| They were comfort blanket type | |
| Pho-do in fact | |
| Pho-do in fact | |
| Pho-do in fact | |
| He had a weak pisser | |
| And one night at darts match | |
| Decadent sandwich quaff | |
| He showed he was a big fan of double-entendre | |
| Saw not the nine o'clock news history of the world part one | |
| Twice each at least | |
| Twice each at least | |
| Twice each at least | |
| Mere pseud mag editor's father (x12) |