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I remember the rosary, the Catechism and the stations of the cross |
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the plenary indulgence and i know it isn't this |
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Depression and nightmares and panic through and through |
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Although i have been successful, there is always more to d. |
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There are many things i know i have done to help me to survive |
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but i will never tell anyone as long as i am alive |
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It seems at times there is no way out, not any to escape |
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because of abuse and turmoil and trauma and of rape |
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I feel eyes upon me every minute of the day |
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hiding all around me, i turn my head away |
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I've seen them in my bedroom when i am exhausted and done |
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I've been seeing them for years, but i've never told anyone |
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I am walking into doors and walls 'cause i am not all there |
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I've split from a reality, of what i didn't want to share |
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I can tune out conversations and with what the outside world is |
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Then sex just didn't matter in my relationships |
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You can't rely on feelings when love and trust is first betrayed |
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I enter sexual situations, i really didn't even want to make |
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'Cause i was anxious, i was bored, or any non-sexual need |
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When abuse is matched with affection or protection it misleads |
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I say, "Drop what you do and listen, 'cause now it's me that calls the shots." |
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This is the sign of a life of out of control adults |
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I sometimes drink to oblivion, in spite of what i know |
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I sometimes create chaos anywhere i go |
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Always anxious, always have to move to help me to forget |
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feelings of little value or humiliation yet |
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Because there was no one there for me, i expect people to leave |
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So, i repeatedly test them and this is what you've done to me |
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I know they way i've overworked myself has turned out positively |
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and that many other people don't have my opportunities |
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but goodness, yeah, you can make it, You are well on your way to heal |
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because you already know it, and you already know the deal |
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You are not alone, this is sadism, and this is not your fault |
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And who would choose to live through this, so it is not yours at all |
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and you know this was given to you, so let's put it out of your home |
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and you know that this is not yours, and you are not alone...you are not alone |
