| Song | A Family Affair |
| Artist | Television Personalities |
| Album | And Don't The Kids Just Love It |
| Mrs. Brown is sad | |
| Her husband, | |
| Jack, has just passed away | |
| Mrs. Davies cries | |
| The welfare have taken her children today | |
| Jenny's so upset | |
| She's just received the results of her test | |
| It proved positive | |
| And the father has loved her and left her | |
| But why should | |
| I care?It's just a family affair | |
| I telephoned | |
| God todayBut all | |
| I got wasThe answering machine | |
| Please help me |