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I love her but she loves Agatha Christie |
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And she's so wrapped up in the English Murder Mystery |
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I was nowhere near the scene of the crime |
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I was nowhere around at the time |
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Someone dropped arsenic in Mr Robinson's wine |
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Getting angry doesn't suit her |
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Says her English literature tutor |
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She's a sheep in wolves clothing |
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It's a bad disguise |
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I couldn't help noticing with due surprise |
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That she's dotted her t's and crossed her i's |
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And she wants to take me away to a hotel in |
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Bornmouth for the holidays |
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What's murder and suspense between good friends? |
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We took a cliched clifftop walk |
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And I made the mistake of mentioning Peter Falk |
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She says American TV has killed the murder mystery |
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'Cause the killer's always caught by 10.23 |
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I had the motive but she gave me the means |
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A dagger in the drawing room just after tea |
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She was Miss Scarlet with embarrassment |
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And envy turned me Reverend Green |
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I love her but she loves Agatha Christie |
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She's dead serious about her family history |
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But she made me promise that I'd never hurt her |
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She looked so suspicious at the supper I served her |
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One mans meat is another man's murder |
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And she wants to put me away in a room without a view for a long holiday |
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What's prosecution and defence? |
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What's common law and common sense? |
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What's a barbed wire electrified fence between friends? |