|
Step right up, step right up, step right up, |
|
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore |
|
That's right, you too can be the proud owner |
|
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on |
|
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales |
|
You need perfume? we got perfume, how 'bout an engagement ring? |
|
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady, |
|
Something for the little lady, hmm |
|
Three for a dollar |
|
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale |
|
And a smoke-damaged furniture, you can drive it away today |
|
Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you |
|
They come in all colors, one size fits all |
|
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of kitchen drudgery |
|
Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business |
|
Going out of business sale |
|
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man |
|
Don't settle for less |
|
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume |
|
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate |
|
Don't be caught with your drawers down, |
|
Don't be caught with your drawers down |
|
You can step right up, step right up |
|
|
|
That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices, |
|
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn |
|
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school |
|
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots, |
|
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens |
|
And it finds that slipper that's been at large |
|
under the chaise lounge for several weeks |
|
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master, |
|
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar |
|
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up |
|
|
|
'Cause it forges your signature |
|
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product |
|
For complete refund of price of purchase |
|
Step right up |
|
Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations |
|
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it |
|
Swim in it, sleep in it, |
|
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it |
|
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right |
|
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet |
|
Tired of being the life of the party? |
|
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life |
|
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife, |
|
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax |
|
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator |
|
See you later alligator |
|
And it steals your car |
|
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking |
|
It's a friend, and it's a companion, |
|
And it's the only product you will ever need |
|
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing |
|
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff, |
|
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job |
|
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange, |
|
And it gives you denture breath |
|
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion |
|
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks |
|
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned |
|
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding, |
|
Never needs winding, never needs winding |
|
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis, |
|
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy, |
|
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon |
|
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors, |
|
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection |
|
It gives you an erection, it wins the election |
|
Why put up with painful corns any longer? |
|
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home |
|
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed |
|
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it |
|
We need your business, we're going out of business |
|
We'll give you the business |
|
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale |
|
Receive our free brochure, free brochure |
|
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included |
|
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available, |
|
Step right up, step right up, step right up |
|
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away |
|
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up |
|
C'mon step right up |
|
(Get away from me kid, you bother me...) |
|
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon |
|
Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up, |
|
C'mon and step right up |