| Song | Something for the Weekend |
| Artist | The Divine Comedy |
| Album | A Secret History… The Best Of The Divine Comedy |
| She said "There's something in the woodshed And I can hear it breathing - It's such an eerie feeling, darling." | |
| He said "There's nothing in the woodshed - It's your imagination End of the conversation, darling." | |
| Something in his heart told him to come clean | |
| He was not who he claimed to be | |
| Something in his genes told him to pretend ' | |
| Twas something for the weekend | |
| But she said "There's something in the woodshed I know because I saw it I can't simply ignore it, darling." | |
| So he said "Now baby, don't be stupid Get this into your sweet head There ain't nothing in the woodshed (except maybe some wood)." | |
| Something in his heart told him to come clean | |
| He was not who he claimed to be | |
| Something in his jeans told him to pretend ' | |
| Twas something for the weekend "I'll go all the way with you, if you'll only do the same for me—go and see If it's nothing like you say, then you can have your wicked way with me" | |
| He went down to the woodshed | |
| They came down hard on his head | |
| Gagged and bound and left for dead | |
| When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money |
| She said " There' s something in the woodshed And I can hear it breathing It' s such an eerie feeling, darling." | |
| He said " There' s nothing in the woodshed It' s your imagination End of the conversation, darling." | |
| Something in his heart told him to come clean | |
| He was not who he claimed to be | |
| Something in his genes told him to pretend ' | |
| Twas something for the weekend | |
| But she said " There' s something in the woodshed I know because I saw it I can' t simply ignore it, darling." | |
| So he said " Now baby, don' t be stupid Get this into your sweet head There ain' t nothing in the woodshed except maybe some wood." | |
| Something in his heart told him to come clean | |
| He was not who he claimed to be | |
| Something in his jeans told him to pretend ' | |
| Twas something for the weekend " I' ll go all the way with you, if you' ll only do the same for me go and see If it' s nothing like you say, then you can have your wicked way with me" | |
| He went down to the woodshed | |
| They came down hard on his head | |
| Gagged and bound and left for dead | |
| When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money |