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These are the tales, the freaky tales... |
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The tales that i tell so well... |
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I met this girl, her name was joan |
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She loved the way i rocked the microphone |
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When i met joan, i took her home |
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She was just like a doggy all on my bone |
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I met another girl, her name was ann |
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All she wanted was to freak with a man |
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When i met ann, i soked her pans |
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We ended up freakin' by garbage can |
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The next young freak i met was red |
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I took her to the house and she gave me head |
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She likes to freak was all she said |
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We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed |
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There's another girl, her name is mary |
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Talked about sex and the girl acted scary |
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I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy jerry |
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Took her to the house and i popped that cherry |
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Young and tender, sweet denise |
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Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast |
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I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece |
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She only talks about signin' a lease |
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I met this tender, her name was lori |
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And a x-rated movie wouldn't tell her story |
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She had a twinsister, her name was lisa |
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And just like lori, she's a real dick pleaser |
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My girlfriend's name was michelle, i freaked her well |
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Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell |
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I geed this girl, her name was tammy |
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I didn't wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy |
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She had a best friend, her name was jane |
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I pulled to the side and i spitted that game |
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I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine |
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Freaked one night with a girl named pam |
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The very next day i saw her with her man |
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One week passed and i was in her again |
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I had an old tender, her name was janie |
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She was thirty-two and i was only eighteen |
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She likes to freak, she's just a fiend |
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It really didn't matter when i saw her in jeans |
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I wanna big freak, fat and slobby |
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I kick on back and i watch her mouth |
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Two tons of fun, big mama jama |
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A country-girl from alabama |
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I met this girl, her name was betty |
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Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death |
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I was tired as hell, i was drippin' sweat |
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But i was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath |
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Bake and shake us, i met this freak in vegas |
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She said her name was donna |
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She was a pitty little freak from china |
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I said i don't pimp or gigolo |
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I'm havin' so much money that i don't need a hoe |
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You can break yourself but you can't break me |
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You never met a player like $hort, baby |
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I knew a dick sucker named betty-jo |
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Took her to my home and we did it on the floor |
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The girl got freaky and i tell you more: |
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She was down on her knees beggin' to blow |
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She's like another freak named ren` |
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You get her alone and she'll make your day |
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Like burger king, she knows the play |
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But a freak like ren`, you can have it your way... |
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These are the tales, the freaky tales... |
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These are the tales that i tell so well... |
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I met this girl, thick as hell |
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Only sixteen, said her name was linell |
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I took her to my house, i could not wait |
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Her shit was much tighter than central safe |
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Let me tell you this since we talkin' young |
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I met another girl, said her name was yvonne |
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Always talkin' about havin' fun |
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Once again in the bed i got it goin' on |
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I'm sir too $hort, couldn't be no punk |
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I try to get funky like female funk |
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So when you see me comin' or see me goin' |
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I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin' |
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I once met a tender, she did it for free |
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On the foothill bust number forty-three |
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All the way on the back she was workin' me |
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Had my big beatbox and i was jammin' the beat |
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I met this freak named aunt winell |
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Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet |
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Everythin' she had is what i get |
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Cause i'm too $hort, baby, i don't play that shit |
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I met another freak, her name was rita |
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Baby thought that $hort just might eat her |
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I told her like this, she can suck my peter |
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Or even go home cause i knew i didn't need her |
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Scratched her name off my telephone book |
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Never again i took a second look |
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Cause the next young freak, her name was sharon |
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She kept lookin', well, i kept stairin' |
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Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin' |
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She never left, she cutted out |
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I know you all know what i'm talkin' about |
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There's a freak named shane, such a sinner |
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She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner |
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Shane is cool but her mind is gone |
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One fat rock and it's goin' on |
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She had another buddy, came by my place |
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Thick ass bitch, said her name was grace |
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She walked in the door wearin' a lace |
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You shoulda seen that look that was on my face |
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She's like this tender named belinda |
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Homeboys call her belinda the blender |
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She gave head like she made it up |
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She was twenty years old with a big round butt |
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Had a girl slick like olive oil |
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Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled |
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When she got mad he blood would boil |
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But i rapped her off like i'm lookin' a toy... |
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These are the tales, the freaky tales... |
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The tales that i tell so well... |
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Shockedy life, friday night, it's goin' on too $hort |
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Three weeks ago i met this freak |
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She followed me around like mary's sheep |
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I hitted around the corner and when she came |
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I grabbed her by the arm and i asked her name |
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She said it was nina and her man's in santa rita |
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I took her to my home and homeboy, i geed her |
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Set her on the way the very next way |
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Playboy $hort was ready to play |
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I bumped to this girl, her name was roseanne |
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We hitted the motel and got it goin' on |
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Holiday inn to the break of dawn |
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When i took baby home, i freaked her mom |
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I knew this tender named shanie |
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I took her to the house and let her freak on me |
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Baby was a fan, she loved my beat |
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But i wouldn't raise my leg to let her kiss my feet |
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I met this freak named yolanda |
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Rolled baby doll like a brand new honda |
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I was on top and she was up under |
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The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder |
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I once had a datewith girl named kitty |
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She was so fine with big fat tiddies |
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All night long she was actin' shitty |
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So i macked on baby like i was frank nitti |
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There's another girl, her name is rose |
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I use to roll baby like brand new volvos |
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I never saw rose wearin' clothes |
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She's a pimp house pet, ready to pose |
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I was ridin' down the street when i met janet |
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Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet |
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Ass everywhere, i just can't stand it |
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Tried to poem it but i could not manage |
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I had this freak, her name was bunny |
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Said i was the only man who ever called her honey |
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Everythin' i did to her was funny |
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I macked on bunny and i took her money |
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Eight tonight a date with shirlie |
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She was really short and her hair was curly |
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If you saw baby you liked this girlie |
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She was so fine i went to get her early |
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Shirlie was freakin' like a girl named rachel |
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Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal |
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She liked to kiss all on my neval |
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Those are her lips on top of my label |
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I knew another freak, her name was candy |
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Real big lips and they came in handy |
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I smooth got worked and it was so dandy |
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I hooked the brood up with my homeboy randy |
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He did me a favor in return |
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Gave me a lizard, said her name was laverne |
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Baby got tossed and i got it on |
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I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song |
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My young homeboy heard me rap |
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And said he had way more freaks than that |
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So i told him like this: they might be freakin' |
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But, boy, you never had that t-p-treatment... |
