Freaky Tales Lyrics
| Song | Freaky Tales |
| Artist | Too $hort |
| Album | Born To Mack |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| The tales that i tell so well... | |
| I met this girl, her name was joan | |
| She loved the way i rocked the microphone | |
| When i met joan, i took her home | |
| She was just like a doggy all on my bone | |
| I met another girl, her name was ann | |
| All she wanted was to freak with a man | |
| When i met ann, i soked her pans | |
| We ended up freakin' by garbage can | |
| The next young freak i met was red | |
| I took her to the house and she gave me head | |
| She likes to freak was all she said | |
| We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed | |
| There's another girl, her name is mary | |
| Talked about sex and the girl acted scary | |
| I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy jerry | |
| Took her to the house and i popped that cherry | |
| Young and tender, sweet denise | |
| Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast | |
| I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece | |
| She only talks about signin' a lease | |
| I met this tender, her name was lori | |
| And a x-rated movie wouldn't tell her story | |
| She had a twinsister, her name was lisa | |
| And just like lori, she's a real dick pleaser | |
| My girlfriend's name was michelle, i freaked her well | |
| Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell | |
| I geed this girl, her name was tammy | |
| I didn't wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy | |
| She had a best friend, her name was jane | |
| I pulled to the side and i spitted that game | |
| I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine | |
| Freaked one night with a girl named pam | |
| The very next day i saw her with her man | |
| One week passed and i was in her again | |
| I had an old tender, her name was janie | |
| She was thirty-two and i was only eighteen | |
| She likes to freak, she's just a fiend | |
| It really didn't matter when i saw her in jeans | |
| I wanna big freak, fat and slobby | |
| I kick on back and i watch her mouth | |
| Two tons of fun, big mama jama | |
| A country-girl from alabama | |
| I met this girl, her name was betty | |
| Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death | |
| I was tired as hell, i was drippin' sweat | |
| But i was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath | |
| Bake and shake us, i met this freak in vegas | |
| She said her name was donna | |
| She was a pitty little freak from china | |
| I said i don't pimp or gigolo | |
| I'm havin' so much money that i don't need a hoe | |
| You can break yourself but you can't break me | |
| You never met a player like $hort, baby | |
| I knew a dick sucker named betty-jo | |
| Took her to my home and we did it on the floor | |
| The girl got freaky and i tell you more: | |
| She was down on her knees beggin' to blow | |
| She's like another freak named ren` | |
| You get her alone and she'll make your day | |
| Like burger king, she knows the play | |
| But a freak like ren`, you can have it your way... | |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| These are the tales that i tell so well... | |
| I met this girl, thick as hell | |
| Only sixteen, said her name was linell | |
| I took her to my house, i could not wait | |
| Her shit was much tighter than central safe | |
| Let me tell you this since we talkin' young | |
| I met another girl, said her name was yvonne | |
| Always talkin' about havin' fun | |
| Once again in the bed i got it goin' on | |
| I'm sir too $hort, couldn't be no punk | |
| I try to get funky like female funk | |
| So when you see me comin' or see me goin' | |
| I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin' | |
| I once met a tender, she did it for free | |
| On the foothill bust number forty-three | |
| All the way on the back she was workin' me | |
| Had my big beatbox and i was jammin' the beat | |
| I met this freak named aunt winell | |
| Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet | |
| Everythin' she had is what i get | |
| Cause i'm too $hort, baby, i don't play that shit | |
| I met another freak, her name was rita | |
| Baby thought that $hort just might eat her | |
| I told her like this, she can suck my peter | |
| Or even go home cause i knew i didn't need her | |
| Scratched her name off my telephone book | |
| Never again i took a second look | |
| Cause the next young freak, her name was sharon | |
| She kept lookin', well, i kept stairin' | |
| Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin' | |
| She never left, she cutted out | |
| I know you all know what i'm talkin' about | |
| There's a freak named shane, such a sinner | |
| She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner | |
| Shane is cool but her mind is gone | |
| One fat rock and it's goin' on | |
| She had another buddy, came by my place | |
| Thick ass bitch, said her name was grace | |
| She walked in the door wearin' a lace | |
| You shoulda seen that look that was on my face | |
| She's like this tender named belinda | |
| Homeboys call her belinda the blender | |
| She gave head like she made it up | |
| She was twenty years old with a big round butt | |
| Had a girl slick like olive oil | |
| Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled | |
| When she got mad he blood would boil | |
| But i rapped her off like i'm lookin' a toy... | |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| The tales that i tell so well... | |
| Shockedy life, friday night, it's goin' on too $hort | |
| Three weeks ago i met this freak | |
| She followed me around like mary's sheep | |
| I hitted around the corner and when she came | |
| I grabbed her by the arm and i asked her name | |
| She said it was nina and her man's in santa rita | |
| I took her to my home and homeboy, i geed her | |
| Set her on the way the very next way | |
| Playboy $hort was ready to play | |
| I bumped to this girl, her name was roseanne | |
| We hitted the motel and got it goin' on | |
| Holiday inn to the break of dawn | |
| When i took baby home, i freaked her mom | |
| I knew this tender named shanie | |
| I took her to the house and let her freak on me | |
| Baby was a fan, she loved my beat | |
| But i wouldn't raise my leg to let her kiss my feet | |
| I met this freak named yolanda | |
| Rolled baby doll like a brand new honda | |
| I was on top and she was up under | |
| The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder | |
| I once had a datewith girl named kitty | |
| She was so fine with big fat tiddies | |
| All night long she was actin' shitty | |
| So i macked on baby like i was frank nitti | |
| There's another girl, her name is rose | |
| I use to roll baby like brand new volvos | |
| I never saw rose wearin' clothes | |
| She's a pimp house pet, ready to pose | |
| I was ridin' down the street when i met janet | |
| Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet | |
| Ass everywhere, i just can't stand it | |
| Tried to poem it but i could not manage | |
| I had this freak, her name was bunny | |
| Said i was the only man who ever called her honey | |
| Everythin' i did to her was funny | |
| I macked on bunny and i took her money | |
| Eight tonight a date with shirlie | |
| She was really short and her hair was curly | |
| If you saw baby you liked this girlie | |
| She was so fine i went to get her early | |
| Shirlie was freakin' like a girl named rachel | |
| Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal | |
| She liked to kiss all on my neval | |
| Those are her lips on top of my label | |
| I knew another freak, her name was candy | |
| Real big lips and they came in handy | |
| I smooth got worked and it was so dandy | |
| I hooked the brood up with my homeboy randy | |
| He did me a favor in return | |
| Gave me a lizard, said her name was laverne | |
| Baby got tossed and i got it on | |
| I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song | |
| My young homeboy heard me rap | |
| And said he had way more freaks than that | |
| So i told him like this: they might be freakin' | |
| But, boy, you never had that t-p-treatment... |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| The tales that i tell so well... | |
| I met this girl, her name was joan | |
| She loved the way i rocked the microphone | |
| When i met joan, i took her home | |
| She was just like a doggy all on my bone | |
| I met another girl, her name was ann | |
| All she wanted was to freak with a man | |
| When i met ann, i soked her pans | |
| We ended up freakin' by garbage can | |
| The next young freak i met was red | |
| I took her to the house and she gave me head | |
| She likes to freak was all she said | |
| We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed | |
| There' s another girl, her name is mary | |
| Talked about sex and the girl acted scary | |
| I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy jerry | |
| Took her to the house and i popped that cherry | |
| Young and tender, sweet denise | |
| Get her in the bed and the girl' s a beast | |
| I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece | |
| She only talks about signin' a lease | |
| I met this tender, her name was lori | |
| And a xrated movie wouldn' t tell her story | |
| She had a twinsister, her name was lisa | |
| And just like lori, she' s a real dick pleaser | |
| My girlfriend' s name was michelle, i freaked her well | |
| Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell | |
| I geed this girl, her name was tammy | |
| I didn' t wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy | |
| She had a best friend, her name was jane | |
| I pulled to the side and i spitted that game | |
| I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine | |
| Freaked one night with a girl named pam | |
| The very next day i saw her with her man | |
| One week passed and i was in her again | |
| I had an old tender, her name was janie | |
| She was thirtytwo and i was only eighteen | |
| She likes to freak, she' s just a fiend | |
| It really didn' t matter when i saw her in jeans | |
| I wanna big freak, fat and slobby | |
| I kick on back and i watch her mouth | |
| Two tons of fun, big mama jama | |
| A countrygirl from alabama | |
| I met this girl, her name was betty | |
| Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death | |
| I was tired as hell, i was drippin' sweat | |
| But i was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath | |
| Bake and shake us, i met this freak in vegas | |
| She said her name was donna | |
| She was a pitty little freak from china | |
| I said i don' t pimp or gigolo | |
| I' m havin' so much money that i don' t need a hoe | |
| You can break yourself but you can' t break me | |
| You never met a player like hort, baby | |
| I knew a dick sucker named bettyjo | |
| Took her to my home and we did it on the floor | |
| The girl got freaky and i tell you more: | |
| She was down on her knees beggin' to blow | |
| She' s like another freak named ren | |
| You get her alone and she' ll make your day | |
| Like burger king, she knows the play | |
| But a freak like ren, you can have it your way... | |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| These are the tales that i tell so well... | |
| I met this girl, thick as hell | |
| Only sixteen, said her name was linell | |
| I took her to my house, i could not wait | |
| Her shit was much tighter than central safe | |
| Let me tell you this since we talkin' young | |
| I met another girl, said her name was yvonne | |
| Always talkin' about havin' fun | |
| Once again in the bed i got it goin' on | |
| I' m sir too hort, couldn' t be no punk | |
| I try to get funky like female funk | |
| So when you see me comin' or see me goin' | |
| I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin' | |
| I once met a tender, she did it for free | |
| On the foothill bust number fortythree | |
| All the way on the back she was workin' me | |
| Had my big beatbox and i was jammin' the beat | |
| I met this freak named aunt winell | |
| Macked on the baby like an icecold vet | |
| Everythin' she had is what i get | |
| Cause i' m too hort, baby, i don' t play that shit | |
| I met another freak, her name was rita | |
| Baby thought that hort just might eat her | |
| I told her like this, she can suck my peter | |
| Or even go home cause i knew i didn' t need her | |
| Scratched her name off my telephone book | |
| Never again i took a second look | |
| Cause the next young freak, her name was sharon | |
| She kept lookin', well, i kept stairin' | |
| Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin' | |
| She never left, she cutted out | |
| I know you all know what i' m talkin' about | |
| There' s a freak named shane, such a sinner | |
| She smokes that pipe and she' s gettin' thinner | |
| Shane is cool but her mind is gone | |
| One fat rock and it' s goin' on | |
| She had another buddy, came by my place | |
| Thick ass bitch, said her name was grace | |
| She walked in the door wearin' a lace | |
| You shoulda seen that look that was on my face | |
| She' s like this tender named belinda | |
| Homeboys call her belinda the blender | |
| She gave head like she made it up | |
| She was twenty years old with a big round butt | |
| Had a girl slick like olive oil | |
| Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled | |
| When she got mad he blood would boil | |
| But i rapped her off like i' m lookin' a toy... | |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| The tales that i tell so well... | |
| Shockedy life, friday night, it' s goin' on too hort | |
| Three weeks ago i met this freak | |
| She followed me around like mary' s sheep | |
| I hitted around the corner and when she came | |
| I grabbed her by the arm and i asked her name | |
| She said it was nina and her man' s in santa rita | |
| I took her to my home and homeboy, i geed her | |
| Set her on the way the very next way | |
| Playboy hort was ready to play | |
| I bumped to this girl, her name was roseanne | |
| We hitted the motel and got it goin' on | |
| Holiday inn to the break of dawn | |
| When i took baby home, i freaked her mom | |
| I knew this tender named shanie | |
| I took her to the house and let her freak on me | |
| Baby was a fan, she loved my beat | |
| But i wouldn' t raise my leg to let her kiss my feet | |
| I met this freak named yolanda | |
| Rolled baby doll like a brand new honda | |
| I was on top and she was up under | |
| The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder | |
| I once had a datewith girl named kitty | |
| She was so fine with big fat tiddies | |
| All night long she was actin' shitty | |
| So i macked on baby like i was frank nitti | |
| There' s another girl, her name is rose | |
| I use to roll baby like brand new volvos | |
| I never saw rose wearin' clothes | |
| She' s a pimp house pet, ready to pose | |
| I was ridin' down the street when i met janet | |
| Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet | |
| Ass everywhere, i just can' t stand it | |
| Tried to poem it but i could not manage | |
| I had this freak, her name was bunny | |
| Said i was the only man who ever called her honey | |
| Everythin' i did to her was funny | |
| I macked on bunny and i took her money | |
| Eight tonight a date with shirlie | |
| She was really short and her hair was curly | |
| If you saw baby you liked this girlie | |
| She was so fine i went to get her early | |
| Shirlie was freakin' like a girl named rachel | |
| Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal | |
| She liked to kiss all on my neval | |
| Those are her lips on top of my label | |
| I knew another freak, her name was candy | |
| Real big lips and they came in handy | |
| I smooth got worked and it was so dandy | |
| I hooked the brood up with my homeboy randy | |
| He did me a favor in return | |
| Gave me a lizard, said her name was laverne | |
| Baby got tossed and i got it on | |
| I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song | |
| My young homeboy heard me rap | |
| And said he had way more freaks than that | |
| So i told him like this: they might be freakin' | |
| But, boy, you never had that tptreatment... |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| The tales that i tell so well... | |
| I met this girl, her name was joan | |
| She loved the way i rocked the microphone | |
| When i met joan, i took her home | |
| She was just like a doggy all on my bone | |
| I met another girl, her name was ann | |
| All she wanted was to freak with a man | |
| When i met ann, i soked her pans | |
| We ended up freakin' by garbage can | |
| The next young freak i met was red | |
| I took her to the house and she gave me head | |
| She likes to freak was all she said | |
| We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed | |
| There' s another girl, her name is mary | |
| Talked about sex and the girl acted scary | |
| I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy jerry | |
| Took her to the house and i popped that cherry | |
| Young and tender, sweet denise | |
| Get her in the bed and the girl' s a beast | |
| I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece | |
| She only talks about signin' a lease | |
| I met this tender, her name was lori | |
| And a xrated movie wouldn' t tell her story | |
| She had a twinsister, her name was lisa | |
| And just like lori, she' s a real dick pleaser | |
| My girlfriend' s name was michelle, i freaked her well | |
| Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell | |
| I geed this girl, her name was tammy | |
| I didn' t wanna do it cause the bitch was flammy | |
| She had a best friend, her name was jane | |
| I pulled to the side and i spitted that game | |
| I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine | |
| Freaked one night with a girl named pam | |
| The very next day i saw her with her man | |
| One week passed and i was in her again | |
| I had an old tender, her name was janie | |
| She was thirtytwo and i was only eighteen | |
| She likes to freak, she' s just a fiend | |
| It really didn' t matter when i saw her in jeans | |
| I wanna big freak, fat and slobby | |
| I kick on back and i watch her mouth | |
| Two tons of fun, big mama jama | |
| A countrygirl from alabama | |
| I met this girl, her name was betty | |
| Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death | |
| I was tired as hell, i was drippin' sweat | |
| But i was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath | |
| Bake and shake us, i met this freak in vegas | |
| She said her name was donna | |
| She was a pitty little freak from china | |
| I said i don' t pimp or gigolo | |
| I' m havin' so much money that i don' t need a hoe | |
| You can break yourself but you can' t break me | |
| You never met a player like hort, baby | |
| I knew a dick sucker named bettyjo | |
| Took her to my home and we did it on the floor | |
| The girl got freaky and i tell you more: | |
| She was down on her knees beggin' to blow | |
| She' s like another freak named ren | |
| You get her alone and she' ll make your day | |
| Like burger king, she knows the play | |
| But a freak like ren, you can have it your way... | |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| These are the tales that i tell so well... | |
| I met this girl, thick as hell | |
| Only sixteen, said her name was linell | |
| I took her to my house, i could not wait | |
| Her shit was much tighter than central safe | |
| Let me tell you this since we talkin' young | |
| I met another girl, said her name was yvonne | |
| Always talkin' about havin' fun | |
| Once again in the bed i got it goin' on | |
| I' m sir too hort, couldn' t be no punk | |
| I try to get funky like female funk | |
| So when you see me comin' or see me goin' | |
| I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin' | |
| I once met a tender, she did it for free | |
| On the foothill bust number fortythree | |
| All the way on the back she was workin' me | |
| Had my big beatbox and i was jammin' the beat | |
| I met this freak named aunt winell | |
| Macked on the baby like an icecold vet | |
| Everythin' she had is what i get | |
| Cause i' m too hort, baby, i don' t play that shit | |
| I met another freak, her name was rita | |
| Baby thought that hort just might eat her | |
| I told her like this, she can suck my peter | |
| Or even go home cause i knew i didn' t need her | |
| Scratched her name off my telephone book | |
| Never again i took a second look | |
| Cause the next young freak, her name was sharon | |
| She kept lookin', well, i kept stairin' | |
| Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin' | |
| She never left, she cutted out | |
| I know you all know what i' m talkin' about | |
| There' s a freak named shane, such a sinner | |
| She smokes that pipe and she' s gettin' thinner | |
| Shane is cool but her mind is gone | |
| One fat rock and it' s goin' on | |
| She had another buddy, came by my place | |
| Thick ass bitch, said her name was grace | |
| She walked in the door wearin' a lace | |
| You shoulda seen that look that was on my face | |
| She' s like this tender named belinda | |
| Homeboys call her belinda the blender | |
| She gave head like she made it up | |
| She was twenty years old with a big round butt | |
| Had a girl slick like olive oil | |
| Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled | |
| When she got mad he blood would boil | |
| But i rapped her off like i' m lookin' a toy... | |
| These are the tales, the freaky tales... | |
| The tales that i tell so well... | |
| Shockedy life, friday night, it' s goin' on too hort | |
| Three weeks ago i met this freak | |
| She followed me around like mary' s sheep | |
| I hitted around the corner and when she came | |
| I grabbed her by the arm and i asked her name | |
| She said it was nina and her man' s in santa rita | |
| I took her to my home and homeboy, i geed her | |
| Set her on the way the very next way | |
| Playboy hort was ready to play | |
| I bumped to this girl, her name was roseanne | |
| We hitted the motel and got it goin' on | |
| Holiday inn to the break of dawn | |
| When i took baby home, i freaked her mom | |
| I knew this tender named shanie | |
| I took her to the house and let her freak on me | |
| Baby was a fan, she loved my beat | |
| But i wouldn' t raise my leg to let her kiss my feet | |
| I met this freak named yolanda | |
| Rolled baby doll like a brand new honda | |
| I was on top and she was up under | |
| The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder | |
| I once had a datewith girl named kitty | |
| She was so fine with big fat tiddies | |
| All night long she was actin' shitty | |
| So i macked on baby like i was frank nitti | |
| There' s another girl, her name is rose | |
| I use to roll baby like brand new volvos | |
| I never saw rose wearin' clothes | |
| She' s a pimp house pet, ready to pose | |
| I was ridin' down the street when i met janet | |
| Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet | |
| Ass everywhere, i just can' t stand it | |
| Tried to poem it but i could not manage | |
| I had this freak, her name was bunny | |
| Said i was the only man who ever called her honey | |
| Everythin' i did to her was funny | |
| I macked on bunny and i took her money | |
| Eight tonight a date with shirlie | |
| She was really short and her hair was curly | |
| If you saw baby you liked this girlie | |
| She was so fine i went to get her early | |
| Shirlie was freakin' like a girl named rachel | |
| Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal | |
| She liked to kiss all on my neval | |
| Those are her lips on top of my label | |
| I knew another freak, her name was candy | |
| Real big lips and they came in handy | |
| I smooth got worked and it was so dandy | |
| I hooked the brood up with my homeboy randy | |
| He did me a favor in return | |
| Gave me a lizard, said her name was laverne | |
| Baby got tossed and i got it on | |
| I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song | |
| My young homeboy heard me rap | |
| And said he had way more freaks than that | |
| So i told him like this: they might be freakin' | |
| But, boy, you never had that tptreatment... |
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