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They're either too young, or too old |
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They're either too gray or too grassy green |
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The pickings are poor and the crop is lean |
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What's good is in the army |
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What's left will never harm me |
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They're either too old or too young |
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So, darling, you'll never get stung |
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Tomorrow I'll go hiking with that Eagle Scout unless |
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I get a call from grandpa for a snappy game of chess |
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I'll never, never fail ya |
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While you are in Australia |
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Or off among the Rooshians |
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And flying over Egypt |
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Your heart will never be gypped |
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And when you get to India |
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I'll still be what I've been to ya |
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I've looked the field over |
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And lo and behold |
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They're either too young or too old |
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They're either too bald or too bold |
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I'm down to the wheelchair and bassinet |
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My heart just refuses to get upset |
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I simply can't compel it to |
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With no Marine to tell it to |
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I'm either their first breath of spring |
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Or else, I'm their last little fling |
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I either get a fossil or an adolescent pup |
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I either have to hold him off |
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Or have to hold him up |
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The battle is on, but the fortress will hold |
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They're either too young or too old |
