| [00:00.000] |
|
| [00:05.871] |
The hallway. |
| [00:08.247] |
From the outside an ordinary house. |
| [00:12.490] |
A great house, true. |
| [00:14.866] |
Four hundred and eighty-three rooms, |
| [00:17.008] |
each one with its own marble wash basin and douche. |
| [00:22.263] |
Bidet, as it may.But inside - and the positions are reversed. |
| [00:29.051] |
A human failing, some say a disease, |
| [00:32.918] |
but a disease that Sir Francis Dashwood knew and used well. |
| [00:41.055] |
Upstairs, inside, and: a revelation! |
| [00:46.561] |
It's a discotheque. |
| [00:48.270] |
No, no, uh... there are paintings - real..., and look here! |
| [00:53.740] |
A rare seventeenth century masterpiece. |
| [00:57.439] |
And if I can scrape a little of it off, beneath I can find hidden ... |
| [01:05.828] |
a fourteenth century underpiece. |
| [01:11.279] |
Made entirely of tiny pieces of eggshell, |
| [01:15.867] |
this lurid work has caused controversy in the world of embroidery and anthropolodge-, |
| [01:26.325] |
no, I'll say it again, anthropolology. |
| [01:31.206] |
No - quite possibly making... anthropole, no, I mean an'epilog... |
| [01:37.574] |
It has enthralled distinguished professors, and In layman's language, |
| [01:46.980] |
it's blinking well baffling. |
| [01:48.974] |
But to be more obtusely, buggered if I know. |
| [01:52.976] |
Yes, buggered if I know. |
| [01:55.865] |
And that's all we've gleaned so far from experts in fourteenth century painting, |
| [02:01.370] |
renaissance greengrocers, and recently revived members of the public. |
| [02:07.177] |
Buggered if I know. |
| [02:09.224] |
Vivian Stanshall, about three o'clock in the morning, Oxfordshire |
| [02:16.735] |
Nineteen Seventy-three. Goodnight. |
| [02:20.333] |
|
