hu shuo hu you li xiao xiang sheng

Song 胡说胡有理(小相声)
Artist 花儿乐队
Album 花天囍世

Lyrics

[00:06.45] 说书唱戏劝人方
[00:09.67] 三条大道走中央
[00:12.60] 善恶到头终有报
[00:15.22] 人间正道是沧桑
[00:18.13] 本少爷打小出身贫寒
[00:20.38] 家里除了六个保姆还有十几个保安
[00:22.87] 但是为人耿直
[00:24.09] 尤其正气凛然
[00:25.28] 是拳打南山敬老院
[00:26.82] 脚踩北头幼儿园
[00:28.03] 九十以上九岁以下一见我就寒
[00:30.22] 相信自己是被窝里放屁能闻(文)能捂(武)
[00:32.68] 凭什么人家是Rain我却是闰土
[00:35.20] 正所谓云想衣衫花想容
[00:37.04] 猪想发福人想红
[00:38.28] 内裤穿里面是我和超人唯一的不同
[00:40.42] 于是乎我去参加电视节目叫做幸运250来证明自己脑力多突出
[00:45.09] 主持人相当潇洒稳重:
[00:47.65] 大家要等我说开始以后再抢答
[00:50.05] 一定要等到我的始(屎)出来再抢明白吗?
[00:52.55] NO!吓的我这头也晕了
[00:54.34] 气也窜了
[00:54.97] 腿也抖了
[00:55.65] 腰也弯了
[00:56.22] 舌头干了
[00:56.87] 脖子酸了
[00:57.45] 站都站不住了
[00:58.39] 眼看就要瘫了
[00:59.34] 嘴里吐白沫了
[01:00.23] 眼睛往上翻了
[01:02.46] 不过通过这场浩劫我认识了我的她
[01:04.88] 一脸美人痣漂亮的像朵豆腐渣
[01:07.40] 前看像胡瓜
[01:08.31] 后看像郭达
[01:09.19] 身材更是佳
[01:10.15] 侧面如搓衣板转世
[01:11.68] 正面似台球杆成精
[01:13.26] 般配得
[01:13.87] 嘿,还真对的起咱这张脸
[01:17.16] 虽然我与她恩爱火热
[01:18.79] 可她爸看不上我说我幼稚弱活一施瓦辛格格
[01:22.29] 我说都是我的错
[01:23.33] 再加上月亮惹的祸
[01:24.67] 可是您家闺女雅号还珠嬷嬷这不正好合适么
[01:27.71] 话音刚落他爸一个箭步上来就是左右开弓一千六百多个大嘴巴
[01:32.03] 哼!此处不留爷
[01:33.63] 自有留爷处
[01:34.89] 处处不留爷
[01:35.80] 爷我就位小卖部
[01:37.05] 老板小博有钱特别阔
[01:38.55] 开一18开门凯迪拉克
[01:40.01] 俨然就是铁丝连着9辆奥拓
[01:41.97] 真的路边一站没人敢惹
[01:43.52] 鼻涕一抹拔丝苹果
[01:44.71] 讲起道理小嘴利索跟窜稀似的
[01:46.92] 他说自古论语有记载
[01:48.46] 江湖险噩不行就撤
[01:49.77] 鱼和熊猫不可兼得
[01:51.19] 你缺房缺车就是不缺德
[01:52.83] 拜我为大哥
[01:53.81] 以后谁敢欺负你
[01:55.05] 我就噗噗噗真的!
[01:56.23] 怎么的?
[01:56.83] 就把他车胎扎了知道不?
[01:58.67] 偏偏这时发现旁边有一个
[02:00.56] 面相凶狠的人瞪着我
[02:02.09] 一手伸进包里像是要掏家伙
[02:04.22] 小博眼里哪能容下这个
[02:05.82] 气宇轩昂泰然自若地走过去说:
[02:08.23] 大哥有事您就说
[02:09.78] 知道去年护城河碎尸案是谁干的吗?(啊?)
[02:12.77] 知道上月有人被打成弱智是谁干的吗?(啊?)
[02:16.03] 那前两天就你站这地方捅死一人你应该知道是谁干的吧?
[02:20.02] 啊?我不知道啊,您要干什么啊?
[02:22.69] 你真不知道啊?(我真不知道啊!)
[02:26.73] 哎,那你还不来份法制报?

Pinyin

[00:06.45] shuō shū chàng xì quàn rén fāng
[00:09.67] sān tiáo dà dào zǒu zhōng yāng
[00:12.60] shàn è dào tóu zhōng yǒu bào
[00:15.22] rén jiān zhèng dào shì cāng sāng
[00:18.13] běn shào yé dǎ xiǎo chū shēn pín hán
[00:20.38] jiā lǐ chú le liù ge bǎo mǔ hái yǒu shí jǐ gè bǎo ān
[00:22.87] dàn shì wéi rén gěng zhí
[00:24.09] yóu qí zhèng qì lǐn rán
[00:25.28] shì quán dǎ nán shān jìng lǎo yuàn
[00:26.82] jiǎo cǎi běi tóu yòu ér yuán
[00:28.03] jiǔ shí yǐ shàng jiǔ suì yǐ xià yī jiàn wǒ jiù hán
[00:30.22] xiāng xìn zì jǐ shì bèi wō lǐ fàng pì néng wén wén néng wǔ wǔ
[00:32.68] píng shén me rén jiā shì Rain wǒ què shì rùn tǔ
[00:35.20] zhèng suǒ wèi yún xiǎng yī shān huā xiǎng róng
[00:37.04] zhū xiǎng fā fú rén xiǎng hóng
[00:38.28] nèi kù chuān lǐ miàn shì wǒ hé chāo rén wéi yī de bù tóng
[00:40.42] yú shì hū wǒ qù cān jiā diàn shì jié mù jiào zuò xìng yùn 250 lái zhèng míng zì jǐ nǎo lì duō tū chū
[00:45.09] zhǔ chí rén xiāng dāng xiāo sǎ wěn zhòng:
[00:47.65] dà jiā yào děng wǒ shuō kāi shǐ yǐ hòu zài qiǎng dá
[00:50.05] yí dìng yào děng dào wǒ de shǐ shǐ chū lái zài qiǎng míng bái ma?
[00:52.55] NO! xià de wǒ zhè tóu yě yūn le
[00:54.34] qì yě cuàn le
[00:54.97] tuǐ yě dǒu le
[00:55.65] yāo yě wān le
[00:56.22] shé tou gàn le
[00:56.87] bó zi suān le
[00:57.45] zhàn dōu zhàn bú zhù le
[00:58.39] yǎn kàn jiù yào tān le
[00:59.34] zuǐ lǐ tǔ bái mò le
[01:00.23] yǎn jīng wǎng shàng fān le
[01:02.46] bù guò tōng guò zhè chǎng hào jié wǒ rèn shi le wǒ de tā
[01:04.88] yī liǎn měi rén zhì piào liàng de xiàng duǒ dòu fǔ zhā
[01:07.40] qián kàn xiàng hú guā
[01:08.31] hòu kàn xiàng guō dá
[01:09.19] shēn cái gèng shì jiā
[01:10.15] cè miàn rú cuō yī bǎn zhuǎn shì
[01:11.68] zhèng miàn shì tái qiú gān chéng jīng
[01:13.26] bān pèi dé
[01:13.87] hēi, hái zhēn duì de qǐ zán zhè zhāng liǎn
[01:17.16] suī rán wǒ yǔ tā ēn ài huǒ rè
[01:18.79] kě tā bà kàn bù shàng wǒ shuō wǒ yòu zhì ruò huó yī shī wǎ xīn gé gé
[01:22.29] wǒ shuō dōu shì wǒ de cuò
[01:23.33] zài jiā shang yuè liàng rě de huò
[01:24.67] kě shì nín jiā guī nǚ yǎ hào huán zhū mā mā zhè bù zhèng hǎo hé shì me
[01:27.71] huà yīn gāng luò tā bà yí gè jiàn bù shàng lái jiù shì zuǒ yòu kāi gōng yī qiān liù bǎi duō gè dà zuǐ bā
[01:32.03] hēng! cǐ chù bù liú yé
[01:33.63] zì yǒu liú yé chù
[01:34.89] chǔ chù bù liú yé
[01:35.80] yé wǒ jiù wèi xiǎo mài bù
[01:37.05] lǎo bǎn xiǎo bó yǒu qián tè bié kuò
[01:38.55] kāi yī 18 kāi mén kǎi dí lā kè
[01:40.01] yǎn rán jiù shì tiě sī lián zhe 9 liàng ào tà
[01:41.97] zhēn de lù biān yī zhàn méi rén gǎn rě
[01:43.52] bí tì yī mǒ bá sī píng guǒ
[01:44.71] jiǎng qǐ dào lǐ xiǎo zuǐ lì suǒ gēn cuàn xī shì de
[01:46.92] tā shuō zì gǔ lún yǔ yǒu jì zǎi
[01:48.46] jiāng hú xiǎn è bù xíng jiù chè
[01:49.77] yú huó xióng māo bù kě jiān dé
[01:51.19] nǐ quē fáng quē chē jiù shì bù quē dé
[01:52.83] bài wǒ wèi dà gē
[01:53.81] yǐ hòu shuí gǎn qī fù nǐ
[01:55.05] wǒ jiù pū pū pū zhēn de!
[01:56.23] zěn me de?
[01:56.83] jiù bǎ tā chē tāi zhā le zhī dào bù?
[01:58.67] piān piān zhè shí fā xiàn páng biān yǒu yí gè
[02:00.56] miàn xiāng xiōng hěn de rén dèng zhe wǒ
[02:02.09] yī shǒu shēn jìn bāo lǐ xiàng shì yào tāo jiā huo
[02:04.22] xiǎo bó yǎn lǐ nǎ néng róng xià zhè gè
[02:05.82] qì yǔ xuān áng tài rán zì ruò dì zǒu guò qù shuō:
[02:08.23] dà gē yǒu shì nín jiù shuō
[02:09.78] zhī dào qù nián hù chéng hé suì shī àn shì shuí gàn de ma? a?
[02:12.77] zhī dào shàng yuè yǒu rén bèi dǎ chéng ruò zhì shì shuí gàn de ma? a?
[02:16.03] nà qián liǎng tiān jiù nǐ zhàn zhè dì fāng tǒng sǐ yī rén nǐ yīng gāi zhī dào shì shuí gàn de ba?
[02:20.02] a? wǒ bù zhī dào a, nín yào gàn shén me a?
[02:22.69] nǐ zhēn bù zhī dào a? wǒ zhēn bù zhī dào a!
[02:26.73] āi, nà nǐ hái bù lái fèn fǎ zhì bào?