| Song | Smokey Joe's Cafe (Album Version) |
| Artist | Loudon Wainwright III |
| Album | Album III |
| One day while I was eating beans at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| Sitting digging on the scene at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| A chick came walking through the door that I had never seen before | |
| Least I’d never saw her down at Smokey Joe’s Café no | |
| I started shakin’ when she sat right down next to me | |
| Her knee was almost touching mine at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| A chill ran up and down my spine at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| I could smell her sweat perfume, she smiled at me, my heart went boom | |
| Everybody in the room at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| They said, | |
| "Man be careful, that chick belongs to Smokey Joe." | |
| From behind the counter there came a man | |
| With a chef hat on his head and a knife in his hand | |
| He grabbed me by the collar and he began to shout | |
| "You better eat up all your beans and get right on out." | |
| And I know I’ll never eat again at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| So we’ll never meet again at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| I’d rather eat my chilli beans at Jim’s or Jack’s or John’s or Gene’s | |
| Than take my chances eating down at Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| I risk my life when I mess with crazy Smokey Joe | |
| Wah wah Smokey Joe’s Café | |
| Wah wah Smokey Joe’s Cafe |
| One day while I was eating beans at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| Sitting digging on the scene at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| A chick came walking through the door that I had never seen before | |
| Least I' d never saw her down at Smokey Joe' s Café no | |
| I started shakin' when she sat right down next to me | |
| Her knee was almost touching mine at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| A chill ran up and down my spine at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| I could smell her sweat perfume, she smiled at me, my heart went boom | |
| Everybody in the room at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| They said, | |
| " Man be careful, that chick belongs to Smokey Joe." | |
| From behind the counter there came a man | |
| With a chef hat on his head and a knife in his hand | |
| He grabbed me by the collar and he began to shout | |
| " You better eat up all your beans and get right on out." | |
| And I know I' ll never eat again at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| So we' ll never meet again at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| I' d rather eat my chilli beans at Jim' s or Jack' s or John' s or Gene' s | |
| Than take my chances eating down at Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| I risk my life when I mess with crazy Smokey Joe | |
| Wah wah Smokey Joe' s Café | |
| Wah wah Smokey Joe' s Cafe |