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I dreamt a dream the other night I couldn't sleep a wink |
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The rats were tryin' to count the sheep and I was off the drink |
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There were footsteps in the parlour and voices on the stairs |
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I was climbin' up the walls and movin' round the chairs. |
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I looked out from under the blanket up at the fireplace. |
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The Pope and John F. Kennedy were starin' in me face.* |
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Suddenly it dawned at me I was getting the old D.T.s |
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When the Child o' Prague began to dance around the mantlepiece. |
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CHORUS |
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Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the Vodka and the Stag, |
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To the Schmiddick and the Harpic, the bottled draught and keg. |
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As I sat lookin' up the Guinness ad I could never figure out |
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How your man stayed up on the surfboard after 14 pints of stout. |
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Well I swore upon the bible I'd never touch a drop. |
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My heart was palpitatin' I was sure 'twas going to stop, |
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Thinkin' I was dyin' I gave my soul to God to keep. |
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A tenner to St. Anthony to help me get some sleep. |
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I fell into an awful nightmare - got a dreadful shock. |
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When I dreamt there was no Duty-free at the airport down in Knock. |
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George Seawright was sayin' the rosary and SPUC were on the pill.** |
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Frank Patterson was gargled and he singin' Spancil Hill. |
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CHORUS |
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I dreamt that Mr. Haughey had recaptured Crossmaglen |
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Then Garret got re-elected and gave it back again. |
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Dick Spring and Roger Casement were on board the Marita-Ann |
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As she sailed into Fenit they were singin' Banna Strand. |
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I dreamt Archbishop McNamara was on Spike Island for 3 nights |
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Havin' been arrested for supportin' Traveller's rights. |
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I dreamt that Ruairi Quinn was smokin' marijuana in the Dail |
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Barry Desmond handin' Frenchies out to scuts in Fianna Fail. |
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CHORUS |
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I dreamt of Nell McCafferty and Mary Kenny too |
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The things that we got up to, but I'm not tellin' you. |
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I dreamt I was in a jacuzzi along with Alice Glenn |
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'twas then I knew I'd never ever, ever drink again. |
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CHORUS |
