| Song | Jerry Springer |
| Artist | Weird Al Yankovic |
| Album | Running with Scissors |
| 作词 : Robertson, Yankovic | |
| it's been one week since we got to see | |
| Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry | |
| Five days since they had the show | |
| With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho | |
| Three days since we heard the tale | |
| About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male | |
| Yesterday it occurred to me | |
| That i've been watchin' a bit too much jerry springer | |
| Holy cow, d'you see it last week? | |
| Well, they had this one freak | |
| Who sucker-punched his whole family | |
| Do you recall when the brawl | |
| Became a total free-for-all | |
| And jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee | |
| Hey, see the stripper with the implants | |
| She likes to lap dance | |
| And date the boyfriend of her mother | |
| Now here come's jerry's next guest | |
| And it's a slugfest | |
| 'cause it's her trailer trash brother | |
| Nymphomaniac is back on crack | |
| It's like 'when animals attack' | |
| They all exhibit reprehensible behavior | |
| Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes | |
| Step on their toes, that's how it goes | |
| They get so violent they have to sign a waiver | |
| They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame | |
| On the air? they don't care, they've got no shame | |
| There was one guy who i'm sure felt a little strange | |
| When he found out that his wife had a sex change | |
| They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly | |
| They have a history of ripping off their shirts | |
| It's been one week since they had the fight | |
| With the siamese twins and the transvestite | |
| Five days since that awful brawl | |
| They still haven't got the blood off the wall | |
| It's been three days since the bitter fued | |
| Between the kkk and that gay jewish black dude | |
| Yesterday, finally dawned on me | |
| I'm spendin' way too much time on that jerry springer | |
| Guy guest : baby, i've been sleepin' with your sister | |
| Gal guest : oh? well, which one? | |
| Guy guest : all of them | |
| Gal guest : oh! well, i've been sleepin' with your best friend jake! | |
| Guy guest : yah? well, well me too! | |
| Gal guest : oh! | |
| Guy guest : and i've sleepin' with your dog woofie! | |
| (barking) | |
| Gal guest : woofie, you b-tch! | |
| Gal guest : well, i'm also sleepin' with your pet goat! | |
| (baaahhing) | |
| Guy guest : that goat doesn't love you! | |
| Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin' | |
| Your brain shuts down, then your iq's droppin' | |
| Jerry's the king of confrontation | |
| He's a sensation | |
| He puts the 'sin' in syndication | |
| It's totally worthless, like a bad check | |
| It's like a train wreck | |
| Don't wanna stare but you can't look away | |
| Like sally jesse he does talk shows | |
| But with more weirdos | |
| The ratings jumpin' higher everyday | |
| If you've seen the show, well then you know | |
| It's just as low as you can go | |
| The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene | |
| And pretty soon some ugly goon | |
| Comes in the room and then it's boom | |
| In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen | |
| Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities | |
| Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies | |
| 'jerry! jerry!' now the crowd starts their favorite chant | |
| Should i turn off my tv? i just can't | |
| I have a tendency to watch it religiously | |
| I have a history of taping each one | |
| It's been one week since the show about | |
| Psycho killers with problems they should work out | |
| Five days since the big surprise | |
| When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating twenty guys | |
| Three days wince he interviewed | |
| A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude | |
| Yesterday, it occurred to me | |
| That i've been watchin' a bit too much jerry springer | |
| Tired of wastin' my time on that jerry springer | |
| I've got way too much class to watch jerry springer | |
| Come over here and pull on my finger |
| zuò cí : Robertson, Yankovic | |
| it' s been one week since we got to see | |
| Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry | |
| Five days since they had the show | |
| With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho | |
| Three days since we heard the tale | |
| About the guy who learned his woman was a shemale | |
| Yesterday it occurred to me | |
| That i' ve been watchin' a bit too much jerry springer | |
| Holy cow, d' you see it last week? | |
| Well, they had this one freak | |
| Who suckerpunched his whole family | |
| Do you recall when the brawl | |
| Became a total freeforall | |
| And jerry' s in the middle tryin' to be the referee | |
| Hey, see the stripper with the implants | |
| She likes to lap dance | |
| And date the boyfriend of her mother | |
| Now here come' s jerry' s next guest | |
| And it' s a slugfest | |
| ' cause it' s her trailer trash brother | |
| Nymphomaniac is back on crack | |
| It' s like ' when animals attack' | |
| They all exhibit reprehensible behavior | |
| Hit ' em in the nose, tear off their clothes | |
| Step on their toes, that' s how it goes | |
| They get so violent they have to sign a waiver | |
| They' re always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame | |
| On the air? they don' t care, they' ve got no shame | |
| There was one guy who i' m sure felt a little strange | |
| When he found out that his wife had a sex change | |
| They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly | |
| They have a history of ripping off their shirts | |
| It' s been one week since they had the fight | |
| With the siamese twins and the transvestite | |
| Five days since that awful brawl | |
| They still haven' t got the blood off the wall | |
| It' s been three days since the bitter fued | |
| Between the kkk and that gay jewish black dude | |
| Yesterday, finally dawned on me | |
| I' m spendin' way too much time on that jerry springer | |
| Guy guest : baby, i' ve been sleepin' with your sister | |
| Gal guest : oh? well, which one? | |
| Guy guest : all of them | |
| Gal guest : oh! well, i' ve been sleepin' with your best friend jake! | |
| Guy guest : yah? well, well me too! | |
| Gal guest : oh! | |
| Guy guest : and i' ve sleepin' with your dog woofie! | |
| barking | |
| Gal guest : woofie, you btch! | |
| Gal guest : well, i' m also sleepin' with your pet goat! | |
| baaahhing | |
| Guy guest : that goat doesn' t love you! | |
| Once you start watchin', there' s just no stoppin' | |
| Your brain shuts down, then your iq' s droppin' | |
| Jerry' s the king of confrontation | |
| He' s a sensation | |
| He puts the ' sin' in syndication | |
| It' s totally worthless, like a bad check | |
| It' s like a train wreck | |
| Don' t wanna stare but you can' t look away | |
| Like sally jesse he does talk shows | |
| But with more weirdos | |
| The ratings jumpin' higher everyday | |
| If you' ve seen the show, well then you know | |
| It' s just as low as you can go | |
| The guests are tacky and they' re lacking in their hygiene | |
| And pretty soon some ugly goon | |
| Comes in the room and then it' s boom | |
| In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen | |
| Well it' s the kind of show where people scream obscenities | |
| Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies | |
| ' jerry! jerry!' now the crowd starts their favorite chant | |
| Should i turn off my tv? i just can' t | |
| I have a tendency to watch it religiously | |
| I have a history of taping each one | |
| It' s been one week since the show about | |
| Psycho killers with problems they should work out | |
| Five days since the big surprise | |
| When some loser' s wife said she' s shtill dating twenty guys | |
| Three days wince he interviewed | |
| A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude | |
| Yesterday, it occurred to me | |
| That i' ve been watchin' a bit too much jerry springer | |
| Tired of wastin' my time on that jerry springer | |
| I' ve got way too much class to watch jerry springer | |
| Come over here and pull on my finger |