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Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming |
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After working all year down at ' |
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Big Roy's |
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Heating And |
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Plumbing'So one night when my family and |
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I were gathered 'round the dinner table |
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I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world nowWhere'd you like to go ta?" |
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They said, "Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" |
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They picked the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaSo the very next day we loaded up the car |
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With potato skins and pickled wieners |
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Crossword puzzles, |
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Spider-Man comics |
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And mama's home made rhubarb pie |
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Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors |
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They all waved good-bye and so began our three day journey |
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We picked up a guy holding a sign that said, "Twine ball or bust" |
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He smelled real bad and he said his name was |
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BernieI put in a |
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Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net |
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Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down |
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Yelling, "Are we there yet?" |
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And all of us were joined together in one common thought |
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As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 |
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DeSotoWe're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaWe're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaOh, we couldn't wait to get there |
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So we drove straight through for three whole days and nights |
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Of course, we stopped for more pickled wieners now and then |
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The scenery was just so pretty, boy |
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I wish the kids could've seen it |
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But you can't see out of the side of the car |
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Because the windows are completely covered |
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With the decals from all the places where we've already been |
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Like Elvis- |
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O-Rama, the |
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Tupperware |
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MuseumThe |
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Boll Weevil |
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Monument and |
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Cranberry |
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WorldThe Shuffleboard |
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Hall Of Fame, |
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Poodle Dog |
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RockAnd The |
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Mecca of Albino |
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SquirrelsWe've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums |
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And the place where you can drive through the middle of a tree |
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We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches |
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But there's still one thing we gotta see |
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Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39 |
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And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball exit, fifty miles" |
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Oh, the kids were so happy they started singing"99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the twenty-seventh time that day |
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So, we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station |
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Got a few more pickled wieners and a diet chocolate soda |
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On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaWe're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaFinally, at 7:37 early |
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Wednesday evening |
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As the sun was setting in the |
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Minnesota sky |
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Out in the distance, on the horizon |
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It appeared to me like a vision before my unbelieving eyes |
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I parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence |
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Toward that glorious, huge, majestic sphere |
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I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer intensity |
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I had to pop myself a beer |
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Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays |
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In a little shrine under a makeshift pagoda |
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There sits the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaI tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaOh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing? |
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Oh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string |
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What was he trying to prove? |
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Who was he trying to impress? |
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Why did he build it? |
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How did he do it? |
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It's anybody's guess |
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Where did he get the twine? |
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What was goin' through his mind? |
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Did it just seem like a good idea at the time? |
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Well, we walked up beside it and |
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I warned the kids"Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason" |
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I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our carAnd we can take it home", but |
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I was only teasin' |
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Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line |
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Bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine |
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Some window decals and anything else they'd sell us |
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And I bought a couple postcards"Greetings from the twine ball, wish you were here" |
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Won't the folks back home be jealous? |
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I gave our camera to |
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Bernie and we stood by the ball |
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And we all gathered 'round and said, "Cheese" |
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The Bernie ran away with my brand new |
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Instamatic |
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But at least we got our memories |
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So we all just stared at the ball for a while |
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And my eyes got moist but |
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I said with a smile"Kids, this here's what America's all about" |
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Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside |
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And I fell on my knees and |
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I cried and cried |
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And that's when those security guards threw us out |
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You know, |
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I bet if we unraveled that sucker |
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It'd roll all the way down to |
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Fargo, North |
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Dakota'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaI'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaWell, we stayed that night at the |
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Twine Ball |
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InnIn the morning we were on our way home again |
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But we really didn't want to leave, that was perfectly clear |
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I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go" |
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Then I winked my eye and |
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I said"You know, I got a funny kind of feelin'We'll be comin' back again next year"' |
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Cause I've been all around this great big world |
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And I can't think of anywhere else |
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I'd rather go ta |
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Than the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaI said the biggest ball of twine in |
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MinnesotaMinnesota, |
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Minnesota, |
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Minnesota |
