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Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships |
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And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift |
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So to keep us on our bearings, the |
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Lord gave us a gift |
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And like most gifts you get, it was a book |
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I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know |
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I act the way |
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I act because the |
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Good Book tells me so |
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If I wanna know how to be good, it's to the |
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Good Book that |
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I go 'Cos the |
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Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book |
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I know the |
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Good Book's good because the |
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Good Book says it's good |
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I know the |
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Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would |
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You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and |
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I think it's understood |
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You can't be good without a |
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Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book |
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And it is good for cookin' |
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I tried to read some other books, but |
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I soon gave up on that |
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The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts |
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I can't read |
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Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that |
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And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good |
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Morality is written there in simple white and black |
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I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that |
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Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap |
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You'll find which one is which in the |
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Good Book, 'cos it's good |
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And it's a book, and it's a book |
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I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter |
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The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh |
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But as they grew they started misbehavin' |
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So I drowned the little ****ers in the bath |
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When the creatures in your care start being menaces |
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The answers can be found right there in |
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Genesis! Chapter 6, |
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Verse 5-7! |
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Swing your partner by the hand |
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Have a baby if you can |
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But if the voices your head |
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Say to sacrifice your kid |
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To satiate your loving |
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God's Fetish for dead baby blood |
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It's simple fate, the |
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Book demands |
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So raise that knife up in your hand! |
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Before the |
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Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know |
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If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go |
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So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go |
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And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received |
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The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse." |
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The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses." |
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The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force." |
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If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book |
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And it is good, and it's a book! |
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Swing your daughter by the hand |
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But if she gets raped by a man |
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And refuses then to marry him |
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Stone her to death! |
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If you just close your eyes and block your ears |
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To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years |
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Then morally, guess what? |
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You're off the hook |
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And thank |
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Christ you only have to read one book |
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Just because the book's contents |
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Were written generations hence |
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By hairy desert-dwelling gents |
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Squatting in their dusty tents |
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Just because what |
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Heaven said |
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Was said before they'd leavened bread |
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Just 'cos |
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Jesus couldn't read |
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Doesn't mean that we should need |
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When manipulating human genes |
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To alleviate pain and fight disease |
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When deciding whether it's wrong or right |
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To help the dyin' let go of life |
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Or stop a pregnancy when it's |
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Just a tiny blastocyst |
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There's no reason why we should take a look |
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At any other book |
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But the Good |
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Book 'Cause it's good |
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And it's a book |
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And it's a book |
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And it's quite good! |
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Good is good and evil's bad |
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And kids get killed when |
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God gets mad |
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And you'd better take a good look |
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At the Good |
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Book |