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(Written by Phil Thomas) |
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Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas. |
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Was drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans, |
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An' we was....what's that you say? |
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What's Colorado Kool-Aid? |
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Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream. |
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It'll set you head on fire an' make your kidneys scream, |
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Oh, it sure is fine. |
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Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times. |
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But you know every beer joint that you've ever been in, |
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Some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friend, |
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Sure enough, he wants to fight, |
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Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight. |
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Well, he took him a big swallow of beer, |
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And he spit in my Mexican friends ear. |
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And, sure enough, that made my buddie real mad. |
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That's somethin' like he ain't never had. |
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Well, sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife; |
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Quick as a whistle he began to slice. |
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An, that big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears, |
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Lookin' down at the floor, an' one of his ears. |
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Ha, he cut that thing off, even with the sideburns. |
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You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a durn. |
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But he was a gentleman about it, an' bent over and with a half way |
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grin, |
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Picked it up and handed it back to him. |
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He said: "Now big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer, |
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"Just open up your hand there, and spit it in your own ear. |
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"Won't be no trouble that way." That's what I heard him say. |
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And I said: "Barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid. |
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"An while you're up their, bring this big fella, here, a box of Band |
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aids." |
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Now let me tell you: if you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas, |
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Decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Kool-Aid, |
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An' maybe talk to some Mexicans, |
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An' you get the urge to get a little tough, |
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Better make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muff. |
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Hey, ain't that right big man? I said ain't that right big man? |
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Ah, hell he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear. |
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Hey barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid. |
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How about it? |
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How you doin', big man? Still got your ear there in your hand? |
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Fade out. |
