|
Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister. |
|
baby sister |
|
That's right, baby sister. |
|
baby sister |
|
So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister. |
|
safety rules |
|
Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby. |
|
wash hands |
|
Do you know why? |
|
no |
|
Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick. |
|
germs make baby sick |
|
That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick. |
|
germs make the baby sick |
|
Okay, rule number two. |
|
more rules |
|
Don't feed the baby anything. |
|
don't feed the baby. |
|
That's right. |
|
why? |
|
Well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food. |
|
why? |
|
Oh...well, other food is bad for the baby. |
|
other food bad for the baby |
|
That's right, good. Now, rule number three. |
|
more rules |
|
Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby. |
|
water bad for the baby |
|
Well, not all water, just hot water, |
|
yes |
|
Cause hot water will burn the baby. |
|
i don't understand, daddy |
|
Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking? |
|
yes |
|
Well, this water is okay for the baby. |
|
yes |
|
Here, touch the glass. |
|
yes |
|
See, it's nice and cool. |
|
yes |
|
Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby. |
|
hot water burn baby? |
|
Yes, hot water burn baby. |
|
hot water burn baby |
|
Yes, yes, hot water burn baby. |
|
hot water burn your baby |
|
Yes. |
|
baby can't go in swimming pool? |
|
Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool. |
|
yes |
|
That's alright. |
|
yes |
|
But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby. |
|
hot water burn the baby |
|
Yes. |
|
hot water burn the baby |
|
Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby? |
|
yea, baby like tea |
|
No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet. |
|
baby no like tea? |
|
Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with? |
|
...hot water |
|
Right, and what did we say about hot water? |
|
...oh, hot water burn baby |
|
Yes, hot water burn baby! |
|
hot water burn baby! |
|
That's right so no tea near the baby. |
|
hot water burn baby |
|
Yes. |
|
baby no take bath? |
|
No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay. |
|
yes |
|
Hot is bad. |
|
yes...hot water burn baby |
|
Yes, hot water burn baby. |
|
hot water burn baby |
|
I think you're gettin' it! |
|
hot water burn baby |
|
That's right, Ryan. |
|
hot water burn baby |
|
NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT! |
|
30 year later! |
|
Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there? |
|
Just watchin' the discovery channel. |
|
Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes. |
|
Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled) |
|
Okay, honey! |
|
Yeah. |
|
The villagers of Pasquan |
|
Pasquan |
|
have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community. |
|
|
|
Unfortunately, the death rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent. |
|
My God. |
|
That explains the Pasquan's low population. |
|
Yeah, it does. |
|
On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,... |
|
Deerskin. |
|
...which have been passed along from generation to generation. |
|
That's nice. |
|
The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara. |
|
ya-yara |
|
Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle... |
|
Wow. |
|
...four times. |
|
Four times. |
|
Once for the sun,... |
|
Hmm. |
|
...once for the moon,... |
|
The moon. |
|
...once for the earth,... |
|
The earth. |
|
...and once for the wind. |
|
The wind, too. |
|
When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs... |
|
What? |
|
...where the ceremonial purification will be completed. |
|
What are you saying here? |
|
As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the deerskin shells... |
|
No. |
|
...and dunk them into the steaming water. |
|
No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby! |
|
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby. |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay? |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
Hot water burn most definitely burn baby. |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby! |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
You are a bitch, Ryan! |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
Ryan, are you alright? |
|
Hot water burn the baby! |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
Ryan! |
|
What are you gonna do, whore? |
|
Ryan! |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
Bitch! |
|
Ryan! What's going on out there? |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
Whore! |
|
Who are you talking to? |
|
Bitch! |
|
I'm talking to the man! |
|
Whore! |
|
Hot water burn baby! |
|
Ryan! |
|
Bitch! Ryan is a whore! |
