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I was on my last warning from |
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Mrs Example, |
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Clean up my act stop being an asshole, |
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Didn't help my debacle, |
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I'd just woken up from an all day, all night, filthy (barkle), |
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Something quite (bait) about today's date, |
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I'd was hard to locate |
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I'd drunk too much |
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Pernod, Took another swipe with my |
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Mach 3 Turbo, |
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Then it hit me like a raging inferno. |
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I don't believe it |
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I, Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She won't be a happy gal, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She's gonna scream and yell, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She'll leave me man, she might as well, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card. |
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I try to keep things relative, |
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Never give [?] to myself if |
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I can, But |
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I can only think negative, |
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Used to tell her shit like |
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I'd lost my pen, |
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Now there's a chance |
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I'll never see her face again, |
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So I walk a fine line, but it's not the end, |
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See I bought her a voucher for |
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H and M, She can get a new skirt and she'll look the part, |
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And if it don't work pour out my heart, |
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Look, yeah, |
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I'm going to be completely honest with you, |
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You know I love you, you know |
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I respect you, |
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At the end of the day, a birthday card, |
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It's just a piece of paper isn't it? |
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In an envelope. |
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Yeah I know a voucher is a piece of paper too, |
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Yeah, but you can get a skirt with that, |
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Well you can get shoes then. |
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Wait, nah that's bullshit, |
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I can't do that, |
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Can't sound like a wanker, (a girly chat), |
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So I gotta make a dash for the petrol station, |
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Cause their cards are perfect for any occasion, |
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I drop my razor and splash my (boat), |
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I grab some tracky-d's and a random coat, |
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Then I'm on it with a wallet, |
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And I hit the pavement, |
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I'm running down the street with my face half shaven, |
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I'm getting stronger and stronger my legs are burning, |
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There's still hope yet just a couple of turn-in's, |
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See the longer |
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I wander the more |
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I scream, |
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She gets here at 10 and it's quarter to. |
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I don't believe it |
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I, Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She won't be a happy gal, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She's gonna scream and yell, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She'll leave me man, she might as well, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card. |
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I get to the garage, |
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Panic scanning the rack, 99 percent of the range is all crap, |
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Happy Birthday |
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Dad, Worlds |
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Best Mother, |
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I Love You |
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Sister, You're a |
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Special Brother, |
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No other bloody card with a cover for a lover, |
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Plus I'm getting kinda stressed as |
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I search for another, |
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But this one struck me, |
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It's pink and funky, |
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With a cartoon print of a drunken monkey. |
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There's a chance |
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I'll make it |
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I'm nearly done, |
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I hand him the coins and it's time to run, |
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Now it's 5 minutes too and |
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I'm nearly home, |
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I feel a vibration and check my phone. |
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The message reads, "Honey, I'll be there shortly", "I just got off the bus and I've started walking", |
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So like Kelly |
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Holmes I sprint the home straight, |
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I rip my tracky-d's as |
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I hurdle the gate, |
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I crash through the door, |
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I fall up the stairs, |
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Looking like |
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I've been in intensive care, |
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The Biro's ****ed, the pencil's broken, |
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I grab a Magic |
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Marker and write a token, |
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Of my appreciation for her, |
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And the things that make her so per-fect, |
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Shit, there's the bell, |
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I seal the envelope it should all be swell, |
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Look, here she is, my |
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Kiera Knightly, |
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She gives me a kiss and |
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I hug her tightly, |
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She asks why |
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I've only shaved half my face, |
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And sweating like |
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I've just come first in some race, |
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I got up extra early, |
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To exercise and stretch my thighs, |
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So I could see my special girly, |
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She looks in my eyes and sees my lies, |
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With a dubious face she accepts the card, |
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She reads it, drops it and slaps me hard, |
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I open it up and prepare for doom, |
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The text in the card reads |
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Get Well Soon. |
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I don't believe it |
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I, Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She won't be a happy gal, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She's gonna scream and yell, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card, |
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She'll leave me man, she might as well, |
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Forgot her bloody birthday card. |
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Ok, I admit, yeah, |
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I messed up big time, |
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But have I got a surprise for you? |
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Yep, nah man, wait for it, |
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I booked us a table, |
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At Nandos, |
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No ser... where you going?, |
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Serious, where you going?, |
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It's only a card! |
