| [00:09.37] | Yeah, I was a nice kid |
| [00:11.72] | Grew up with a family and like them |
| [00:13.64] | Always had some food on my plate and a place to bite in |
| [00:16.25] | But all a sudden it's like a switch flipped |
| [00:18.42] | Inside my head tellin' me I don't deserve **** |
| [00:21.15] | Man I would wake up, and then I perch into the mirror |
| [00:24.21] | Pick apart the imperfections on the person who'd appear |
| [00:26.95] | 'Cuz I don't love myself or the way that I looked |
| [00:29.43] | I was a little fat and hated all that weight on my foot |
| [00:32.22] | All that weight on my shoulders. Everyday just depressed |
| [00:34.88] | Everyday gettin' older and everyday feelin' less |
| [00:37.68] | My homie's like "I can tell you got some **** on your chest |
| [00:40.35] | My mama drinks a little bit and said it eases the stress." |
| [00:43.13] | And I'm like a'ight |
| [00:44.11] | We walked to his crib and we stole the bottle |
| [00:46.29] | I started feelin' nervous but drank it then felt hollow |
| [00:48.72] | He dapped me up and said "My mom's about to be back |
| [00:51.30] | But there's some more inside the liquor cabinet |
| [00:53.26] | We can drink tomorrow |
| [00:54.31] | I'm like "Yeah, yeah homie. Don't worry it's cool |
| [00:56.71] | I gotta go to bed early so I wake up for school |
| [00:59.50] | But after that we gonna dabble in the greatness of booze." |
| [01:02.19] | Then boom I blacked out |
| [01:03.67] | I didn't wake up till noon |
| [01:04.88] | Alarm ringing the bell |
| [01:06.10] | My mom's ringing my cell |
| [01:07.46] | She's pissed off 'cuz she heard that I've been drinking myself |
| [01:10.32] | But she don't understand that deep inside I'm drinking for help |
| [01:13.08] | I said "**** it, I'm leaving. I don't need you to yell" |
| [01:15.95] | I packed my bags up then crashed with a couple of friends |
| [01:18.48] | Couple months have went by and still the buzzin' won't end |
| [01:21.23] | I think I'm more sad now then I ever have been |
| [01:23.89] | I need some stronger medication, so I called up a friend |
| [01:26.75] | I said "Listen homie, all that drinking **** ain't working man |
| [01:30.08] | Give me something else |
| [01:30.92] | He like "Chill I got the percocets |
| [01:32.54] | I'm getting more tomorrow if you like it you can buy them next. |
| [01:35.29] | I said "Deal." Met in person then I tried the **** |
| [01:38.14] | Within the hour I'm loving the new thrill |
| [01:40.50] | Hit my friend back and said "Could you cut me a new deal? |
| [01:43.19] | I need all of the blue pills the **** is just too ill." |
| [01:45.99] | I'm confused 'cuz his mood was prudent and too thrilled |
| [01:48.64] | He was happy, that I been strugglin' loss |
| [01:51.33] | 'Cuz he knew that in the end and it could double his guap |
| [01:54.11] | Where my struggle would begin, then his struggle would stop |
| [01:56.74] | But I still bought all of his product when we linked at the spot |
| [01:59.44] | So fast forward a few weeks, I'm addicted to drugs |
| [02:02.20] | Somehow my momma found out and pulled me back from the thugs |
| [02:04.91] | Moved me back into her crib and tried to show me her love |
| [02:07.64] | But I was numb and only interested in gettin' a buzz |
| [02:10.24] | And it's ****** up, 'cuz she was only tryna be nice |
| [02:13.04] | I didn't listen. ****, I left and I stayed out for the night |
| [02:15.81] | Man I went clubbin' with my homies that were down for the lines |
| [02:18.42] | Then went home the next day to make a mountain of lies |
| [02:21.25] | **** I woke up around 3, heard a knock at the door |
| [02:23.96] | Then these voices started talkin', **** I heard 'em before |
| [02:26.63] | I couldn't put my finger on it so I had to explore |
| [02:29.39] | But on the table was the bottle that I left in my drawer |
| [02:32.32] | **** |
| [02:33.09] | My mom found it, turned around to see the family |
| [02:35.08] | They all lookin' down at me and they ain't lookin' happily |
| [02:37.92] | That's when I realized what the **** this is |
| [02:40.43] | Y'all are here to try to take away my substances |
| [02:43.18] | My mom reached forward then grabbed the bottle of the countertop |
| [02:46.20] | She looked at me and said "Chase, this has to stop." |
| [02:49.13] | I lashed out and said "It stops when I decide it will." |
| [02:51.84] | I grabbed the bottle from her hand, do not deny the pills |
| [02:54.59] | And I ran up to my room |
| [02:56.82] | Grabbed the gun that I had hidden and a couple of blues |
| [02:59.41] | Crushed the tablets on the table hit a couple of snoots |
| [03:02.09] | And put the clip inside the gun load it back and then |
| [03:04.93] | I see my family walking up to me |
| [03:08.94] | I wish that I could say I'm sorry for this ******* |
| [03:11.40] | I never meant to hurt you |
| [03:12.59] | But I was hurt and had to ******* leave |
| [03:14.29] | It's almost like they heard me ******* say it cause they hugging me |
| [03:17.00] | Oh mama you can't shake me awake |
| [03:19.11] | Stop trying, I'm gone let it enter your brain |
| [03:22.00] | Your hearts gonna break, had every ******* thought on my face |
| [03:24.67] | But let you learn from my lesson so you don't make the mistake |
| [03:27.52] | Just tell my story and let them know that I'm sorry |
| [03:30.33] | I used to love the thought of death but now the reapers upon me |
| [03:33.07] | And **** I'm scared |
| [03:33.99] | Save me mom I'm passing away |
| [03:35.65] | I wish I didn't put that bullet through the back of my brain |
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