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Sounds of Basketball being shot around] |
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Sandler: "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult." |
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Allen: "Now, that's ridiculous." |
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Sandler: "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too." |
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Allen: "What are you talking about?" |
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Sandler: "Hey, don't **** me on this, man, just sign up." |
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Allen: "No, I'm not going to join a cult!" |
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Sandler: "I can't believe you're pulling this shit on me after Monday |
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night " |
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Allen: "What? |
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Sandler: " I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to |
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watch that other show and we watched your show I did that for you!" |
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Allen: "Yeah, well, you kept flippin' back to the game." |
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Sandler: "I WANTED TO SEE THE ****IN' SCORE! Whadda you gotta do that's |
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so ****ing importnat you can't join the religious cult with me?" |
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Allen: "Well, I was gonna go sunbathing." |
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Sandler: "Oh, boy, no no, I don't think you should do that. Because this |
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guy, Russell he's the leader-guy of the cult " |
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Allen: " yeah " |
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Sandler: " he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun |
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being bad, like the beast can't come out because the sun's too bright |
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and the sun hurts his eyes or something you show up all sunburned and |
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that guy's gonna get pissed at you and me!" |
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Allen: "Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't have to worry about |
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pissing the leader guy off!" |
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Sandler: "Look, I'm starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult |
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guy's been saying some of it makes a lot of sense! |
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Allen: "Well, good, but I don't want to join the cult. We can still hang |
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out; I just won't be in it with you." |
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Sandler: "The point is, I'm not gonna have time to hang out with you |
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because I'm gonna be ****in' busy with this ****in' cult!" |
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Allen: "So I'll visit on weekends we'll work it out." |
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Sandler: "No, the weekends are like the busiest time that's when we |
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go to flea malls and ****in' malls and talk people into joining, man!" |
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Allen: "Can I join for just a little while? I told my dad I'd go visit |
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him in Florida in three weeks." |
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Sandler: "Well, just, we'll ask then, but we gotta join now." |
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Allen: "What's the hurry?" |
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Sandler: "There's a girl I wanna meet there, what the ****'s your |
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problem?" |
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Allen: "Well, I mean I don't really have to believe in this stuff, do |
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I?" |
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Sandler: "No, no, just ****in' tell everybody you believe in this shit |
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when they say the sun sucks, go, "Yeah, **** the sun, I ****in' hate |
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it too, long live the ****in' beast." |
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Allen: "I don't know, man. This is crazy." |
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Sandler: "Look, they're gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, you're |
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gonna get food " |
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Allen: " it's not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?" |
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Sandler: "It's gonna be a haircut, all right? You said you need a |
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haircut, they're gonna ****in' cut your hair. You're going in, saving |
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twelve bucks, just ****in' do it!" |
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Allen: "Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?" |
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Sandler: "Yeah, sure, and if she doesn't, she'll go out and recruit one |
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for you!" |
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Allen: "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don't like it, I'm going to |
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escape, man." |
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Sandler: "OK, that's up to you." |
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"Three weeks later!" |
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[Chanting repeatedly] "The night time is the right time! The night time |
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is the right time!" |
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Sandler: "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?" |
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Allen: "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you." |
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Sandler: "You're not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are |
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you?" |
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Allen: "You know, it's like they said. It was the only way to save him." |
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Sandler: "You're a good guy." |
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Allen: "You're a better one." |
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[Chanting resumes |
