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Dr. Stewart: Hi, [I'm] Dr. Stewart. |
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Gary Phelps: Hi, Dr. Stewart. Nice to meet you I'm Gary Phelps. |
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Dr. Stewart: My pleasure. Gary, have you ever been hypnotized before? |
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Gary Phelps: No, I haven't. I'm actually quite nervous, but I just, uh, |
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I |
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Dr. Stewart: All right, and you were referred to me by anyone...? |
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Gary Phelps: To be honest with you, I saw your name in the Yellow Pages, |
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and It said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a |
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shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing... |
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Dr. Stewart: So smoking is your problem? |
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Gary Phelps: Yeah, I can't stop smoking and it's it's finally, like, |
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affecting everything I do, I can't run, I can't play basketball and all |
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that stuff like that, so I, I gotta give it up. |
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Dr. Stewart: How long have you smoked, Gary? |
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Gary Phelps: Uh, I started when I was eleven years old, and I just can't |
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kick it, you know? |
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Dr. Stewart: Yeah, right. [small, barely noticeable fart] All right, |
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Gary, why don't you just have a seat here and sit down and just relax |
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what I do is hypnosis. |
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Gary Phelps: Right. |
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Dr. Stewart: Basically I just want you to sit back and relax let |
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yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel |
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comfortable and trust me. |
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[bigger fart] |
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Gary Phelps: [noticing fart sound] Uh... |
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Dr. Stewart: That's it. |
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Gary Phelps: O-kay.... |
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Dr. Stewart: That's it. |
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Gary Phelps: That was...o-kay... |
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Dr. Stewart: All right? Okay. Gary, I want you to close your eyes, and I |
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just want you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. Okay? |
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That's it. Now I'm gonna count backwards from five to zero |
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Gary Phelps: Right. |
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Dr. Stewart: and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall |
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into a deep state of mind of subconsciousness you're very |
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comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just want you |
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to relax, and just think of nothing. |
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[three farts in succession] |
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Gary Phelps: Are you gonna keep doing that, or...? |
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Dr. Stewart: Hmm? Just concentrate now. That's it. Close your eyes. Keep |
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your eyes closed. Okay. Now. We're very comfortable. Five [small fart], |
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we're thinking of nothing except being comfortable and nothing's |
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bothering us. Okay. When I say the word "relax," listen to me, you're |
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sinking, you're sinking, [medium fart] |
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Gary Phelps: Oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep doing that? |
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Dr. Stewart: Please just try to relax; that wasn't me. Okay. You're very |
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stressed you're very stressed. Okay, four, we're relaxing, we're |
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relaxing, you're very comfortable, you're very, very soothed. Okay. |
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Four, three...[fart] |
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Gary Phelps: Oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can't... |
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Dr. Stewart: That was the couch. I know it sounded like it's the |
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vinyl it's a new couch please, just try and concentrate. Okay. And |
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we're very sleepy, we're relaxed, thinking nothing bothers us, nothing |
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bothers us [several farts] |
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Gary Phelps: Uh, um, all right, could you open a window, maybe? I'm just |
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having a tough time concentrating |
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Dr. Stewart: Hmm? Here we go there, there, we're relaxing, we're |
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relaxing [fart and cough together] three, two, two |
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Gary Phelps: I was just going to ask you if you could maybe stop doing |
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that. I can't concentrate when you're doing that. |
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Dr. Stewart: This is what I do. It's a counting-down thing. We're |
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relaxing now. Just relax let it go, don't focus on anything else, |
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just concentrate on what we're doing here. Three, two, relax, relax, |
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that's it, just relax [fart], we're relaxing now |
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Gary Phelps: Okay you're gonna that one was it's getting a |
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little irritating |
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Dr. Stewart: Hang on just a second here. Let me just step out a second |
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here. |
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Gary Phelps: That'd be good. |
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Dr. Stewart: All right, and we're relaxing, as I leave, we're relaxing, |
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still relaxing, |
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[fart in the distance] |
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Gary Phelps: Jesus...Oh my God. |
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Dr. Stewart: We're relaxing. |
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Gary Phelps: [trying hard not to laugh] |
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Dr. Stewart: Okay, I'm back, we're relaxing, and we're counting down, |
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we're to two, and all we're thinking about is healthy, fresh air. |
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Freshness. Breathing in. Breathing in deep, letting |
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out. [fart] |
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Gary Phelps: Sir, I'd appreciate if you could stop 'letting it out'. But |
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okay, okay, fine, thank you. |
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Dr. Stewart: That's it, you're all right, everything's good. All right, |
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you feel very comfortable, you're sinking into the chair, we're |
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relaxing, one [long fart], and we're coming down to zero |
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and |
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Gary Phelps: Oh my god, uh...yes, all right, it was nothing... |
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Dr. Stewart: No, no, that time that was you. |
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Gary Phelps: That wasn't me! |
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Dr. Stewart: We're not here to pick sides, we're not here to pick sides, |
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that was you, and maybe we could deal with this in another session, but |
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right now we're dealing with the smoking, and, um, let's not worry about |
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anything else that's going down |
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Gary Phelps: OK, I've just gotta kick this habit. |
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Dr. Stewart: Down to zero, relaxing, we're going to feel very fresh |
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[fart], we're going to feel very healthy [fart], and let's take a nice, |
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deep breath |
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Gary Phelps: I can't breathe, sir, uh, I'm sorry, I just ["squirty" |
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fart] |
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Gary Phelps: Oh my god what did you eat? It smells like baby food |
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Dr. Stewart: All right, we're relaxing that one probably squirted out |
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a little into the pants, but we'll just continue with thte floating |
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[fart] yeah, that was definitely a squirt but here we go, one, |
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zero, we are under. Are you relaxed? |
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Gary Phelps: Yeah, I'm under, I guess. |
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Dr. Stewart: Here we go, relaxing, relaxing. You're under a deep trance, |
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you will not smoke anymore, you will just feel healthy from now on, and |
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you'll be breathing in nothing but fresh air, and you will not smell |
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anything in this room, it wasn't me, it wasn't me farting [fart] that |
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was not me |
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Gary Phelps: [hysterically laughing under his breath] You're gonna have |
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to stop doing that, sir. It's just very hard for me to listen to you |
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when you're |
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Dr. Stewart: You're floating now, you're high above, you're looking |
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down, nothing but fresh pastures and fields, and here we go [long fart] |
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Gary Phelps: Oh man... |
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Dr. Stewart: that was you, |
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Gary Phelps: That was not me, sir! I'm watching you! |
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Dr. Stewart: That was you, and when you wake up, you will not remember |
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any of this, except that it was you, or my receptionist, don't worry, |
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she gets it all the time. All right you smell nothing; I'm perfectly |
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clean. I have no bad gas; it was all from outside or from from you |
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yourself. And let's not forget the smoking thing that's why you're here. |
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No smoking. Repeat after me: I am a smelly pig. |
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Gary Phelps: What? |
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Dr. Stewart: All right, we're moving along, and we;'re relaxed. [fart] |
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All right, and now we're going to count back up, up one to five, |
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Gary Phelps: OK, you know, I think this is fine, I don't want to |
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smoke... |
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Dr. Stewart: Gary, settle down, relax, and when I get to five, you will |
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snap out of this, and you won't remember this, especially the smell, the |
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smell was from you. All right? And here we go. Zero, we're coming out of |
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it, you're waking up slowly, your eyes are opening, one, you're feeling |
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good, and when you wake up, you'll feel wide awake and perfect you'll |
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feel whole and [fart] all-righty, I ripped that one out there and I |
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apologize. I ripped a good one there. That was a nice out.. |
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Gary Phelps: That was not nice. |
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Dr. Stewart: Here we go, and, we're coming right [fart] |
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Gary Phelps: What was that? |
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Dr. Stewart: That was three. |
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Gary Phelps: It didn't sound like three. |
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Dr. Stewart: three, I'm counting, and four, it's no smell in here, and |
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you don't smoke, you don't want a cigarette, no, and here we go [fart] |
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five, and [snap] Do you want a cigarette? |
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Gary Phelps: No I don't. |
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Dr. Stewart: Then my job is done. |
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Gary Phelps: [bursts into laughter] |
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Dr. Stewart: [fart] Please leave the door open as you leave. [fart] |
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Gary Phelps: OK, thank you, Doctor |
