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Seein' double, livin' single |
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Night club frustrated tryin' to mingle |
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There's a girl dancin' over there |
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She's got very fascinating hair |
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But I can't work up the nerve to do my schpeel |
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With my big foot stuck in my mouth |
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I end up talkin' like a heel |
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Cuz I'm a loser, not a schmoozer |
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And a no luck in woman cruiser |
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I'm a dog without a leash, a jigsaw puzzle lookin' for a piece |
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I'm a kid without a toy, I am the world's forgotten boy |
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Why can't I work up a silly nerve to talk no shit |
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Like a square peg, stuck in a hole, I just don't fit |
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Cuz I'm a loser, not a schmoozer |
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And a no luck woman cruiser |
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Not a wheeler or a dealer |
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She's on a pedestal and I'm a kneeler |
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I'm a loser and a boozer |
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I'm a loser, not a schmoozer |
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Never ever gonna be a chooser |
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The prince of fools, the king of pain |
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It's enough to drive a poor man insane |
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I'm lookin' hard but I fear |
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Another lonely night bartender gimme a beer |
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Why do I even try, I get the same old line |
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She said my boyfriend's much bigg than you |
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I said what a waste of time |
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Oh my God that girl just winked at me |
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So I worked up my courage, feels like I'm gonna pee |
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I said baby, she just froze |
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She said did your mother dress you |
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Where'd you get those clothes |
