| [00:00.36] |
I always thought my movie, |
| [00:03.22] |
Would be a comedy, |
| [00:04.88] |
Not quite the tragedy, |
| [00:06.63] |
That it's become, |
| [00:08.34] |
More slapstick, |
| [00:09.97] |
Then chick flick, |
| [00:11.69] |
More Caddy Shack, |
| [00:13.50] |
Then Breakfast at Tiffany's, |
| [00:15.30] |
So thank me at the podium, |
| [00:18.49] |
For a life time of Contribution, |
| [00:22.44] |
Turn on the cameras, |
| [00:23.72] |
Someone queue the extras, |
| [00:25.24] |
Hair and makeup to the set, |
| [00:28.35] |
Because the big screen's, |
| [00:29.64] |
Calling final casting call, |
| [00:31.68] |
It's your big shot baby, |
| [00:33.34] |
You're the next big star, |
| [00:35.19] |
Another stupid movie, |
| [00:36.24] |
About a guy with a broken heart, |
| [00:39.29] |
It's falling apart, |
| [00:41.61] |
Heading for the cutting room floor, |
| [00:43.54] |
(Heading for the cutting room) |
| [00:44.62] |
In the sequel honey, |
| [00:46.15] |
I'm the guy, |
| [00:47.44] |
Who gets the girl, |
| [00:53.28] |
So if you miss my movie, |
| [00:56.20] |
Get the DVD, |
| [00:57.81] |
Check out the chemistry, |
| [00:59.45] |
Between you and me, |
| [01:01.27] |
Less Raising Arizona, |
| [01:04.55] |
More Steel Magnolias, |
| [01:07.84] |
So when you walk down that red carpet, |
| [01:11.64] |
I hope you trip and fall, |
| [01:15.25] |
I hope someone squirts, |
| [01:16.56] |
You with a water gun, |
| [01:18.11] |
A supersoaker filled with pee, |
| [01:21.94] |
Because the big screen's, |
| [01:23.37] |
Calling final casting call, |
| [01:25.18] |
It's your big shot baby, |
| [01:26.54] |
You're the next big star, |
| [01:28.43] |
Another stupid movie, |
| [01:30.24] |
About a guy with a broken heart, |
| [01:33.06] |
It's falling apart, |
| [01:35.39] |
Heading for the cutting room floor, |
| [01:37.32] |
(Heading for the cutting room) |
| [01:38.22] |
In the sequel honey, |
| [01:40.03] |
I'm the guy, |
| [01:41.31] |
Who gets the girl, |
| [01:43.13] |
All apologizes to Kevin Costner, |
| [01:46.80] |
And that chick from Monster, |
| [01:49.62] |
Give me Adam Sandler, Will Farrall, Belushi, and even Val Kilmer, |
| [01:56.32] |
He was funny in Real Genius, |
| [01:58.84] |
(What about Top Gun?) |
| [02:00.68] |
No, Top Gun wasn't funny, |
| [02:02.00] |
(Whatever,) |
| [02:03.55] |
Top Secret was funny too, |
| [02:06.72] |
But he sucked as Batman, |
| [02:08.36] |
The big screen's, |
| [02:09.55] |
Calling final casting call, |
| [02:11.55] |
It's your big shot baby, |
| [02:12.96] |
You're the next big star, |
| [02:14.79] |
Another dumb movie, |
| [02:16.68] |
About a guy with a broken heart, |
| [02:19.57] |
I'm falling apart, |
| [02:21.74] |
Steven Spielberg's calling, |
| [02:23.46] |
And he's setting up cars, |
| [02:25.28] |
It's your big shot baby, |
| [02:26.41] |
You're the next big star, |
| [02:28.26] |
Another stupid movie, |
| [02:29.98] |
About a guy with a broken heart, |
| [02:32.88] |
It's falling apart, |
| [02:35.36] |
Heading for the cutting room floor, |
| [02:37.29] |
(Heading for the cutting room) |
| [02:38.22] |
In the sequel honey, |
| [02:39.93] |
I'm the guy, |
| [02:44.26] |
Who gets the girl, (x6) |
| [02:46.69] |
I'm the guy, |
| [02:47.97] |
That gets the girl, |
| [02:57.53] |
Who gets the girl, |