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You still cross my mind from time to time. |
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And I mostly smile. |
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Still so set on finding out where we went wrong and why |
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So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen, |
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Trying to figure out what my head thinks, |
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But, my head just ain't what it used to be. |
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And then again, what's the point anyway? |
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I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony |
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To see if you could see me - hidden quietly away |
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And I remember the skin of your fingers, |
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The spot three quarters up |
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I'd always touch when |
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I was out of things to say. |
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You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak, you were too afraid to speak and |
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I could never understand. |
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I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and |
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I swear, That not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand, |
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And I remember how you smiled through the smoke |
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In a crowded little coffeehouse and laughed at all my jokes. |
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And I remember the way that you dressed and, |
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How we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat |
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And I remember when |
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I knew that you'd be leaving, how |
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I barely kept up breathing |
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And I bet if |
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I had to do it all again, |
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I'd feel the same pain, |
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And I remember panicked circles in the terminal in tears. |
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How I wept to god in fits. |
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I've hated airports ever since. |
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It must be true what people say, that only time can heal the pain. |
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And every single day |
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I feel it fade away, but - |
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I still remember how the distance tricked us, |
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And lead us helpless by the wrist into a pit to be devoured. |
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I still remember how we held so strong to this, |
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Though we had never really settled on a way out. |
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I still remember the silence, and how we'd always find a way |
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To turn and run to our mistakes. |
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I still remember how it all came back together just to fall apart again. |
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My dear, I hear your voice in mine; |
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I've been alone here, |
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I've been alone here, |
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I've been afraid, my dear. |
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I've been afraid, my dear. |
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I've been at home here. |
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I've been at home here. |
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You've been away for years. |
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You've been away for years. |
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I've been alone. |
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I've been alone. |
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I've been alone. |
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I've been alone. |
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I breathed your name into the air; |
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I etched your name into me. |
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I felt my anger swelling; |
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I swam into it's sea. |
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I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear. |
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It tore the wiring of my brain; |
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I did my best to keep it clear. |
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So, dear, no matter how we part, |
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I hold you sweetly in my head. |
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And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead. |
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If I can't love you as a lover, |
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I will love you as a friend. |
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And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end. |
