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I work down at The Pizza Pit |
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And I drive an old Hyundai |
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I still live with my mom and dad |
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I'm five foot three and overweight |
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I'm a sci: fi fanatic, mild asthmatic |
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Never been to second base |
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But there's a whole 'nother me |
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That you need to see |
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Go check out Myspace. |
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'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood |
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I'm six foot five and I look damn good |
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I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate |
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And I love a good glass of wine |
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It turns girls on that I'm mysterious |
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I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious |
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'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat |
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With two women at one time. |
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I'm so much cooler online |
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I'm so much cooler online. |
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I get home I kiss my mom |
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And she fixes me a snack |
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I head down to my basement bedroom |
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And fire up my Mac |
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In real life the only time |
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I've ever even been to L.A. |
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Was when I got the chance with the marching band |
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To play tuba in the Rose Parade. |
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But online I live in Malibu |
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I pose for Calvin Klein |
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I've been in GQ |
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I'm single and I'm rich |
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And I got a set of six-pack abs that would blow your mind |
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It turns girls on that I'm mysterious |
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I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious |
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'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat |
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With two women at one time. |
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I'm so much cooler online |
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Yeah, I'm cooler online. |
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When you've got my kind of stats |
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It's hard to get a date |
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Let alone a real girlfriend |
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But I grow another foot and lose a bunch of weight |
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Every time I log in. |
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Online I'm out in Hollywood |
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I'm six foot five and I look damn good |
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Even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat |
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With two women at one time. |
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I'm so much cooler online |
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Yeah, I'm cooler online |
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I'm so much cooler online |
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Yeah, I'm cooler online. |