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We live in a binary reality. We do. |
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It's a world of black and white. |
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There's only two types of people in this world: |
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Those who can finish lists |
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What is art? You know. What is art? |
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Is art something gay people do to get back at their fathers? .... Could be. |
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What is an artist? |
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What makes a great artist? You know. .... Great artists, like myself, |
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Like the great director Michael Bay, |
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Like the great Irish actor Shaquille O'Neal? |
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We ask questions. |
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You know, questions nobody else dares to ask |
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Questions like |
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Where are all the Sour Patch Parents? |
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Questions like if Mickey's a mouse, and Minnie's a mouse, and Donald's a duck, and Daisy and Goofy, if they're all animals and they can talk |
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Why is Pluto just a ****ing dog? |
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Did they just forget to anthropomorphize him or, worse, is Mickey keeping him mentally handicapped to stay a pet? |
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I'm not, how does that fit in to that universe, that paradigm |
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Goofy's a dog, he's talking |
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This one, crawling around |
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Guys, you got tight, I would never bash Disney |
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Never |
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Ever |
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I think Disney teaches girls |
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Young girls such important lessons that princess fairy tales, you know like |
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Cinderella: It doesn't matter where you come from or how poor you are, you know, as long as you're incredibly hot |
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Snow White: Which encourages children to |
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You know, give midgets nicknames |
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Sleeping Beauty: You know, which encourages, um |
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Date rape, maybe not |
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Maybe not that one |
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I was doing a show recently on the border of, uh, Hannah Montana and South Dakota Fanning |
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And after the show |
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After the show, a guy came up to me |
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And said, "Bo, why don't you ever tell stories on-stage about people coming up to you after the shows?" |
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And I said, "'Cause they're never funny" |
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I've always wanted a black girlfriend |
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Not as, you know, 'cause like |
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I don't know, h-how, how do I put this? |
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When we 69, I can call it "yin-yanging" |
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Um |
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It's not a, it's not racist |
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Guys, it's 21st Century racism |
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It's racism in light of itself |
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The only reason I'm saying these things |
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Is because the stigmas about race are already there |
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And I'm just playing off of that |
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And they understand that |
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So, if, after the show, |
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You see like a black guy beating me up, |
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He's doing it ironically, okay? |
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Get your story straight |