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(I believe in the Zodiac |
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Yeah, I do, I'm a Leo, I love Titanic |
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Uh, this is something a little bit mor- |
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Something a little bit morbidly ironic, my grandmother |
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Uh, she was a Cancer and |
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She was actually killed by a giant crab |
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This is a song about the idea of irony |
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So strap in!) |
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My dog's stomach was very upset |
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So I put him in the car and we went to the vet |
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And on our way to the vet |
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I killed a cat |
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Hey, I said isn't that ironic? |
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I adopted a child from overseas |
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To rescue him from child labor factories |
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And on his very first birthday, we went to Build-a-Bear workshop |
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Isn't that ironic? |
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Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C? |
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A water park has burned to the ground, and a |
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A tow truck has broken down |
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I always used to cry when I laughed |
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And then I was raped by a clown |
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Isn't that ironic? |
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I was watching Al Gore on CNN |
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He was talking and talking and talking and then |
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Out of boredom, my pet polar bear shot himself |
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Isn't that ironic? |
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I dated an animal rights activist |
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And one day, she got really pissed |
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Because I was eating veal that was wrapped in "pita" bread |
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("PETA"? **** it) |
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Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C? |
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I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch |
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And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncle's "pull-out" couch |
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Isn't that ironic? I-R-O-N-I-C |
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Yeah, if everyday you play the board game Risk |
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You've probably never taken a Risk in your life |
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And Monopoly has far from a stranglehold on the board game market |
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A little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from Operation |
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And I can't grow a beard |
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That one's not ironic, that one's just sad |
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Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant |
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My grandfather had Alzheimer's |
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And one day we were |
