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PRINCETON |
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What do you do with a B.A. in English, |
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What is my life going to be? |
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Four years of college and plenty of knowledge, |
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Have earned me this useless degree. |
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I can't pay the bills yet, |
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'Cause I have no skills yet, |
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The world is a big scary place. |
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But somehow I can't shake, |
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The feeling I might make, |
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A difference, |
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To the human race. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Morning, Brian! |
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BRIAN |
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Hi, Kate Monster. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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How's life? |
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BRIAN |
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Disappointing! |
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KATE MONSTER |
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What's the matter? |
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BRIAN |
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The caterine company |
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laid me off. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Oh, I'm sorry! |
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BRIAN |
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Me too! I mean, look at me! |
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I'm ten years out of college, and I |
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always thought - |
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KATE MONSTER |
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What? |
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BRIAN |
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No, it sounds stupid. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Aww, come on! |
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BRIAN |
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When I was little |
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I thought I would be... |
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KATE MONSTER |
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What? |
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BRIAN |
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A big comedian |
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on late night TV |
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But now I'm thirty-two |
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And as you can see |
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I'm not |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Nope! |
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BRIAN |
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Oh Well, |
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It sucks to be me. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Nooo. |
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BRIAN |
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It sucks to be me. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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No! |
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BRIAN |
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It sucks to be broke |
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and unemployed |
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and turning thirty-three. |
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It sucks to be me. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Oh, you think your life sucks? |
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BRIAN |
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I think so. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Your problems aren't so bad! |
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I'm kinda pretty |
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And pretty damn smart. |
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BRIAN |
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You are. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Thanks! |
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I like romantic things |
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Like music and art. |
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And as you know |
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I have a gigantic heart |
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So why don't I have |
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A boyfriend? |
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Fuck! |
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It sucks to be me! |
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BRIAN |
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Me too. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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It sucks to be me. |
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BRIAN |
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It sucks to be me. |
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It sucks to be Brian... |
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KATE MONSTER |
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And Kate... |
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BRIAN |
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To not have a job! |
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KATE MONSTER |
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To not have a date! |
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BOTH |
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It sucks to be me. |
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BRIAN |
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Hey, ROd, Nicky, can you |
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settle something for us? |
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Do you have a second? |
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ROD |
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Ah, certainly. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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Whose life sucks more? |
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Brian's or mine? |
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NICKY AND ROD |
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Ours! |
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ROD |
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We live together. |
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NICKY |
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We're as close |
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As people can get. |
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ROD |
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We've been the best |
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of buddies... |
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NICKY |
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Ever since the |
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Day we met. |
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ROD |
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So he knows lots |
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Of ways to make me |
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Really upset. |
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Oh, every day is |
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An aggravation. |
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NICKY |
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Come on, that's |
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an exaggeration! |
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ROD |
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You leave your |
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clothes out. |
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You put your feet |
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On my chair. |
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NICKY |
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Oh yeah? |
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You do such anal |
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Things like ironing |
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Your underwear. |
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ROD |
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You make that very |
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Small apartment |
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We share a hell. |
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NICKY |
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So do you, |
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That's why I'm in hell too! |
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ROD |
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It sucks to be me! |
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NICKY |
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No, it sucks to be me! |
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KATE MONSTER |
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It sucks to be me! |
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BRIAN |
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It sucks to be me! |
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ALL |
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Is there anybody here |
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It doesn't suck to be? |
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It sucks to be me! |
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CHRISTMAS EVE |
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Why you all so happy? |
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NICKY |
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Becuase our lives suck! |
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CHRISTMAS EVE |
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Your lives suck? |
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I hearing you correctly? Ha! |
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I coming to this country |
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For opportunities. |
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Tried to work in |
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Korean deli |
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But I am Japanese. |
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But with hard work |
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I earn two Master's Degrees |
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In social work! |
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And now I a therapist! |
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But I have no clients |
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And I have an |
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Unemployed fiance'! |
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And we have lots |
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Of bills to pay! |
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It suck to be me! |
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It suck to be me! |
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I say it |
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Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka- |
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Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka- |
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Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka- |
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Suck! |
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It suck to be me! |
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PRINCETON |
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Excuse me? |
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BRIAN |
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Hey there. |
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PRINCETON |
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Sorry to bother you, but I'm |
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looking for a place to live. |
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CHRISTMAS EVE |
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Why you looking all |
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the way out here? |
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PRINCETON |
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Well, I started at Avenue A, |
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but so far everything is out |
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of my price range. But this |
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neighborhood looks a lot cheaper! |
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Oh, and look - a "For Rent" sign! |
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BRIAN |
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You need to talk to |
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the superintendent. |
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Let me get him. |
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PRINCETON |
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Great, thanks! |
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BRIAN |
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Yo, Gary! |
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GARY COLEMAN |
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I'm comin'! I'm comin'! |
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PRINCETON |
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Oh my God! |
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It's Gary Coleman! |
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GARY COLEMAN |
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Yes I am! |
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I'm Gary Coleman |
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From TV's |
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Diff'rent Strokes |
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I made a lotta money |
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That got stolen |
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By my folks! |
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Now I'm broke and |
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I'm the butt |
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Of everyone's jokes, |
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But I'm here - |
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The Superintendent! |
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On Avenue Q - |
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ALL |
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It sucks to be you. |
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KATE MONSTER |
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You win! |
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ALL |
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It sucks to be you. |
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BRIAN |
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I feel better now! |
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GARY COLEMAN |
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Try having people |
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stopping you to ask you |
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"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?" |
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It gets old. |
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ALL |
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It sucks to be you |
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On Avenue Q |
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(Sucks to be me) |
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On Avenue Q |
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(Sucks to be you) |
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On Avenue Q |
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(Sucks to be us) |
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But not when |
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We're together. |
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We're together |
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Here on Avenue Q! |
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We live on Avenue Q! |
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Our friends do too! |
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'Til our dreams |
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Come true, |
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We live on Avenue Q! |
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PRINCETON |
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This is real life! |
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ALL |
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We live on Avenue Q! |
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NICKY |
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You're gonna love it! |
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ALL |
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We live on Avenue Q! |
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GARY COLEMAN |
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Here's your keys! |
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ALL |
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Welcome to Avenue Q! |
