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[ti:] |
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[ar:] |
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[al:] |
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Do you worry that nobody likes you? |
| [00:03.60] |
We'll provide you with friends. |
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Kifflom. I'm the honorable Chris Formage. |
| [00:09.39] |
Covet your neighbor's ass no longer. |
| [00:12.35] |
The Epsilon Program seeks out |
| [00:14.15] |
the convenient bits from every faith to create |
| [00:16.79] |
a religion that is uniquely American: |
| [00:19.50] |
expensive, promiscuous, and entirely meaningless. |
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And unlike other major religions, |
| [00:25.97] |
we only tithe 8.75 percent. |
| [00:28.79] |
That means less for God, and more for you. |
| [00:31.78] |
All you have to do is |
| [00:33.10] |
read and understand the Epsilon Tract, |
| [00:35.32] |
and the secrets of the Universe |
| [00:37.03] |
will be open to you. |
| [00:38.60] |
Just call 1-866-FUN-CULT. |