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(Singers:) |
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Here is the tale of a babysitting job, |
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the baby is something of a snob, |
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(Stewie:) |
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Oh, go f**k yourselves |
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(Singers:) |
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So listen very closely, and you'll find |
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that what they say is not the same as what's on their minds |
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(Haylie:) |
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Aren't you a cute little boy |
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(Haylie's Thoughts:) |
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look at that melon shaped head |
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(Stewie:) |
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Having you here is a joy |
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(Stewie's Thoughts:) |
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and in an hour you'll be dead |
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(Haylie:) |
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Sit on my knee |
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(Haylie's Thoughts:) |
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please don't go poo |
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(Stewie:) |
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Nice place to be |
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(Stewie's Thoughts:) |
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This one's for you |
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(Both:) |
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Babysitting is a bum deal |
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(Haylie:) |
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Why don't we watch Will & Grace |
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(Thought:) |
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Jesus, do I need a smoke |
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(Stewie:) |
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Jack puts a smile on my face |
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(Thought:) |
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oh, what a surprise, a gay joke |
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(Haylie:) |
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I like your house |
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(Thought:) |
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the ceiling has cracks |
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(Stewie:) |
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I like your blouse |
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(Thought:) |
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Miss TJ Maxx |
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(Both:) |
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Babysitting is a bum deal |
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(Singers:) |
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So they sat as time went by |
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(Haylie:) |
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slowly as time could go |
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(Singers:) |
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the baby blarred, and softly cursed |
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(Stewie:) |
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cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes, |
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and her hair made her look like a hoe |
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(Haylie:) |
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Time for your bottle my sweet |
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(Thought:) |
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This little brat smells like piss |
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(Stewie:) |
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alway's a succulent treat |
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(Thought:) |
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while I suck that, you suck this |
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(Haylie:) |
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Aren't you a sight |
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(Thought:) |
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look at him drool |
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(Stewie:) |
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you're a delight |
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(Thought:) |
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Damn you, you fool |
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(Both:) |
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Babysitting is a bum deal |
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(Singers:) |
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The diaper change was quite a job |
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(Haylie:) |
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the grossest I've ever seen |
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(Singers:) |
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The baby smiled and took a breath |
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(Stewie:) |
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and I grunted and pooped out a poop, |
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that looked something like Matthew Modine |
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(Haylie:) |
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someday you might meet a girl |
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(Thought:) |
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yeah, she's gonna be your right hand |
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(Stewie:) |
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Maybe it's you my sweet pearl |
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(Thought:) |
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darling, i'd rather f**k sand |
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(Haylie:) |
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Have a good night |
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(Thought:) |
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you little creep |
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(Stewie:) |
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Have a good night |
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(Thought:) |
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Die in your sleep |
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(Both:) |
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Babysitting is a bum deal |
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Babysitting is a bum deal |