Your Horoscope For Today Lyrics
| Song | Your Horoscope For Today |
| Artist | Weird Al Yankovic |
| Album | The Essential |
| Download | Image LRC TXT |
| 作词 : Yankovic | |
| aquarius | |
| There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a | |
| Speeding bus | |
| Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole seventeen hours a | |
| Day | |
| Pisces | |
| Try to avoid any virgos or leos with the ebola virus | |
| You are the tru lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say | |
| Aries | |
| The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound | |
| Watermelon in your colon | |
| Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to meryl streep | |
| Taurus | |
| You will never find tru happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it? | |
| The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go | |
| Back to sleep | |
| That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) | |
| That's your horoscope for today | |
| That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) | |
| That's your horoscope for today | |
| Gemini | |
| Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence | |
| Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through | |
| Your chest | |
| Cancer | |
| The position of jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in | |
| The mud | |
| Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's | |
| Test | |
| Leo | |
| Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's | |
| Face, oh no | |
| Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of | |
| Strawberry quik | |
| Virgo | |
| All virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you | |
| Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick | |
| That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) | |
| That's your horoscope for today | |
| That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) | |
| That's your horoscope for today | |
| Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the | |
| Relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep | |
| Significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give | |
| You my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid, | |
| Scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not | |
| To reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true. | |
| Where was i? | |
| Libra | |
| A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that | |
| You | |
| Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts | |
| Next week | |
| Scorpio | |
| Get ready for an unexpected trip when you call screaming from an open window | |
| Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak | |
| Sagittarius | |
| All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them) | |
| Take down all those naked pictures of ernest borgnine you've got hanging in | |
| Your den | |
| Capricorn | |
| The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know | |
| They're lying | |
| If i were you, i's lock my doors and windows and never never never never never | |
| Leave my house again | |
| That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) | |
| That's your horoscope for today | |
| That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) | |
| That's your horoscope for today | |
| That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today) | |
| That's your horoscope for today | |
| That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay) | |
| That's your horoscope for today |
| zuo ci : Yankovic | |
| aquarius | |
| There' s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a | |
| Speeding bus | |
| Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whackamole seventeen hours a | |
| Day | |
| Pisces | |
| Try to avoid any virgos or leos with the ebola virus | |
| You are the tru lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say | |
| Aries | |
| The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound | |
| Watermelon in your colon | |
| Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to meryl streep | |
| Taurus | |
| You will never find tru happiness what you gonna do, cry about it? | |
| The stars predict tomorrow you' ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go | |
| Back to sleep | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| Gemini | |
| Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence | |
| Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through | |
| Your chest | |
| Cancer | |
| The position of jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in | |
| The mud | |
| Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver' s | |
| Test | |
| Leo | |
| Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss' s | |
| Face, oh no | |
| Eat a bucket of tunaflavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of | |
| Strawberry quik | |
| Virgo | |
| All virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent except for you | |
| Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the | |
| Relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep | |
| Significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give | |
| You my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid, | |
| Scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not | |
| To reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true. | |
| Where was i? | |
| Libra | |
| A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that | |
| You | |
| Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts | |
| Next week | |
| Scorpio | |
| Get ready for an unexpected trip when you call screaming from an open window | |
| Work a little harder on improving your low selfesteem, you stupid freak | |
| Sagittarius | |
| All your friends are laughing behind your back kill them | |
| Take down all those naked pictures of ernest borgnine you' ve got hanging in | |
| Your den | |
| Capricorn | |
| The stars say that you' re an exciting and wonderful person, but you know | |
| They' re lying | |
| If i were you, i' s lock my doors and windows and never never never never never | |
| Leave my house again | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay | |
| That' s your horoscope for today |
| zuò cí : Yankovic | |
| aquarius | |
| There' s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a | |
| Speeding bus | |
| Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whackamole seventeen hours a | |
| Day | |
| Pisces | |
| Try to avoid any virgos or leos with the ebola virus | |
| You are the tru lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say | |
| Aries | |
| The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound | |
| Watermelon in your colon | |
| Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to meryl streep | |
| Taurus | |
| You will never find tru happiness what you gonna do, cry about it? | |
| The stars predict tomorrow you' ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go | |
| Back to sleep | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| Gemini | |
| Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence | |
| Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through | |
| Your chest | |
| Cancer | |
| The position of jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in | |
| The mud | |
| Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver' s | |
| Test | |
| Leo | |
| Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss' s | |
| Face, oh no | |
| Eat a bucket of tunaflavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of | |
| Strawberry quik | |
| Virgo | |
| All virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent except for you | |
| Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the | |
| Relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep | |
| Significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give | |
| You my assurance that these forcasts and predictions are all based on solid, | |
| Scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not | |
| To reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true. | |
| Where was i? | |
| Libra | |
| A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that | |
| You | |
| Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts | |
| Next week | |
| Scorpio | |
| Get ready for an unexpected trip when you call screaming from an open window | |
| Work a little harder on improving your low selfesteem, you stupid freak | |
| Sagittarius | |
| All your friends are laughing behind your back kill them | |
| Take down all those naked pictures of ernest borgnine you' ve got hanging in | |
| Your den | |
| Capricorn | |
| The stars say that you' re an exciting and wonderful person, but you know | |
| They' re lying | |
| If i were you, i' s lock my doors and windows and never never never never never | |
| Leave my house again | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today that' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today | |
| That' s your horoscope for today yay yay yay yay yay | |
| That' s your horoscope for today |
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