| Song | Hi Mom, It's Me! |
| Artist | The Queers |
| Album | Love Songs for the Retarded |
| Hey, hello | |
| Hi mom, it's me | |
| AHHHHHHHHHHHH! | |
| I know you think I'm just a useless stupid punk | |
| because every night I come home drunk | |
| Hi mom, it's me, the fucking little shit | |
| the ugly little monkey who used to suck your tit | |
| I know you think my band's just a waste of time | |
| those beer cans you found in my room weren't mine | |
| Hi mom, it's me, the fucking little shit | |
| the ugly little monkey who used to suck your tit | |
| Got 5 bucks I can borrow? |