| Song | Defenders of Marriage |
| Artist | Roy Zimmerman |
| Album | Comic Sutra |
| Every time we think about same-sex marriage | |
| It makes us sick to our guts | |
| I mean, two people who want to commit to a stable | |
| Monogamous life-long relationship | |
| What are they, nuts? | |
| It's unnatural! | |
| Now a man should not lie with a person who is a guy | |
| He should only lie to his wife, the bible is clear | |
| We're | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| In three-button suits | |
| We'll raise our double standard and see who salutes | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Defending the institution against people who want to get married | |
| Every time we think about same-sex parents | |
| "Oh, my gosh!" we exclaim | |
| I mean, two people who want to provide a protective | |
| And nurturing family environment | |
| Have they no shame? | |
| It's so deviant! | |
| It's the Lord's holy word, as my second wife said to my third | |
| That a family's based on obligation and fear | |
| We're | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Connubial narcs | |
| Ever vigilant and patriotic patriarchs | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Defending the institution against people who want to get married | |
| One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry | |
| I shared a six-pack with an old John Bircher | |
| And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary, to ponder | |
| He said, "It's nature versus legislature." | |
| [Spoken] Are people born gay, or do they turn gay just to piss off Dick Armey? | |
| We're an army of dicks | |
| With a militant stance | |
| Let's get the government out of our lives and into our pants | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Defending the institution against people who want to get married | |
| And have their insurance carried | |
| And be beneficiary'd | |
| And be next to the ones they love when they are buried |
| Every time we think about samesex marriage | |
| It makes us sick to our guts | |
| I mean, two people who want to commit to a stable | |
| Monogamous lifelong relationship | |
| What are they, nuts? | |
| It' s unnatural! | |
| Now a man should not lie with a person who is a guy | |
| He should only lie to his wife, the bible is clear | |
| We' re | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| In threebutton suits | |
| We' ll raise our double standard and see who salutes | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Defending the institution against people who want to get married | |
| Every time we think about samesex parents | |
| " Oh, my gosh!" we exclaim | |
| I mean, two people who want to provide a protective | |
| And nurturing family environment | |
| Have they no shame? | |
| It' s so deviant! | |
| It' s the Lord' s holy word, as my second wife said to my third | |
| That a family' s based on obligation and fear | |
| We' re | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Connubial narcs | |
| Ever vigilant and patriotic patriarchs | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Defending the institution against people who want to get married | |
| One summer evening when my woman was doing laundry | |
| I shared a sixpack with an old John Bircher | |
| And oh so wisely he imparted an ancient quandary, to ponder | |
| He said, " It' s nature versus legislature." | |
| Spoken Are people born gay, or do they turn gay just to piss off Dick Armey? | |
| We' re an army of dicks | |
| With a militant stance | |
| Let' s get the government out of our lives and into our pants | |
| Defenders of marriage | |
| Defending the institution against people who want to get married | |
| And have their insurance carried | |
| And be beneficiary' d | |
| And be next to the ones they love when they are buried |