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(Marilyn) |
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I fell for a man at a party, a hyperion. |
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His God like beauty easily met each criterion. |
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Six foot four and debonaire, |
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Emerald eyes and thick black hair. |
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But when we got closer, was he perfect? |
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No sir. |
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His nice white teeth came out at night, |
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And socks down his jeans was what made 'em tight. |
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Oh, my shattered illusions. |
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I got a shock when I saw him cleanse, |
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Each bright green contact lense. |
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Oh, my poor confusion. |
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But the thing that cause the final rift, |
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Was when his toupee started to drift. |
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And his shoes had three inch lifts. |
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Oh, my shattered illusions. |
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(Adele) |
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Now, as for me I lately met a city type. |
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He was nearly fifty seven, but I couldn't gripe. |
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Rolled umbrella, pin-striped suit. |
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And a shiny rolls to boot. |
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But when I got closer, was he perfect? |
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No sir. |
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His great big hands were like wet spaghetti. |
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Lay on the couch and said, call me Betty. |
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Oh, my shattered illusions. |
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He went on and on, for hours and hours, |
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About something called golden showers. |
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And showed me his contusions. |
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Wearing nipple clamps and bows in his pubic hair, |
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He handed me a whip and said beat me there! |
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Then asked if he could sniff my underwear! |
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Oh, my shattered illusions. |
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(Dillie) |
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Now me, I really think I've met the perfect guy. |
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Can't find a single fault, no matter how I try. |
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Though no Adonis, he's the cream. |
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He's every mother's dream. |
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But will I let him get closer? |
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No sir. |
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He thinks I'm lovely but entre nous, |
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My lashes and nails are stuck on with glue. |
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Oh, his shattered illusions. |
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With a little tuck here, |
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and a little tuck there. |
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And I wasn't born with this blonde hair. |
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Oh, his poor delusions. |
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My original chin was much, much bigger. |
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My nose job would simply make him snigger. |
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As to silicone, I owe my shapely figure. |
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Oh, those shattered illusions. |
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But I'll keep Mum because you see, |
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His bride is what I long to be. |
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But, god help us if the children look like me. |
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Oh, those shattered illusions. |