| 父：你们看 这河里头的鸦子她多自在阿 | |
| 兄：郈 阿爸 裀咧游水的姿势实在么寿水捏 | |
| 啊 | |
| 她们 泳 | |
| 非长美也 | |
| 姐：啊 哥 你看 鸦子在走路耶 屁股扭来扭去好可爱呦 | |
| 猪：嗯 生作遐肥 邰来作咸水鸦一定祝好食 | |
| 长这么 | |
| 杀 | |
| 很 吃 | |
| 父兄姐：猪--头--皮 | |
| 母：来来来！手去洗洗咧来食饭啰来猪头皮替妈妈给此盘捧去桌顶 | |
| 吃 | |
| 将 拿 | |
| 猪：哦 哦 逐摆拢嘛我 呜.... | |
| 每次都是 | |
| 〈我家门前有小河阿〉楼仔厝一栋栋 | |
| 房 | |
| 逐工透早〈一家五口〉做伙去运动 | |
| 美天早上 | |
| 一起 | |
| 大人上班 囝仔上课〈过得真轻松〉 | |
| 小孩 | |
| 礼拜相招〈郊游烤肉〉〈全家乐融融〉 | |
| 星期天一起 | |
| 我的家庭真可爱（姐：对阿 大家都说我们家最骚包） | |
| 整洁美满又安康（母：兹当然嘛是我的〈功劳〉） | |
| 这 都 | |
| 兄弟姐妹很和气（兄：猪头皮 借哥哥钱〈好不好〉） | |
| 父母都慈祥（父：来来来 大家一起来洗澡） | |
| （猪：好好好） | |
| 父：来 爸爸问你们 这三种颜色你们喜欢哪一种 | |
| 姐：我喜欢黄色 | |
| 兄：我甲意〈绿色〉 | |
| 中 | |
| 父：我是问你们青色白色红色你们喜欢哪种颜色啦 | |
| 选举若到 阮兜着像 一咧〈杜鹃窝〉 | |
| 一 | |
| 我家就 个 | |
| 归家伙仔 吵来吵去 嘴澜若落雨 | |
| 整个家里 | |
| 口水像下 | |
| 三党大战 汝死我亡 透早到下晡 | |
| 你 | |
| 早上 午 | |
| 逐摆着冤贾 糜饭食昧落 全家涂涂涂 | |
| 每次都吵得 东西吃不下 | |
| 乱糟糟 | |
| 我的家庭真可爱（姐：你们就只会行使舞弊金钱和暴力） | |
| 整洁美满又安康（父：乱讲 我们明明奉行三民主义） | |
| 兄弟姐妹很和气（兄：免咧龟笑鳖 其实俩彷拢〈不是东西〉） | |
| 不用 | |
| 边都 | |
| 父母都慈祥（母：拢给我〈闪边去〉恁母仔〈我要〉拖〈地〉） | |
| 都 | |
| 你妈妈 | |
| 兄：恁台湾米食兹很久阿 阁毋承认你是台湾人 | |
| 你们 | |
| 吃这么久 还不 | |
| 姐：我为什么要承认 人家明明就是中国人 | |
| 父：好了 不要吵了 我们是在台湾的中国人 | |
| 兄：猪头皮 来 给哥哥讲 你是什么人 | |
| 跟 | |
| 猪：超人！ | |
| 父：（啪）正经一点 | |
| 猪：.....机器人？ | |
| 姐：（啪）不对 | |
| 猪：呜 男人 | |
| 兄：毋对啦 | |
| 不 | |
| 猪：毋对 安尼我是女人啰？ | |
| 不 | |
| 这样 | |
| 姐：你们两大党还暗通款曲 那边要武力犯台啦 | |
| 母：欲〈五粒饭团〉创啥 若欲我着包予裀着好阿嘛 | |
| 要 | |
| 干嘛 要 就 | |
| 给他们就好了 | |
| 姐：妈 我是说那边要发射导弹了啦 | |
| 母：〈花色捣蛋〉新的菜色尼 | |
| 阮姐仔骂阮爸是一咧〈老古董〉 | |
| 我姐姐 我 | |
| 个 | |
| 阮哥哥骂阮姐阿是一咧〈传声机〉 | |
| 我 | |
| 我姐姐 个 | |
| 阮爸骂阮哥哥是一咧叛乱党 | |
| 我 | |
| 我 | |
| 个 | |
| 阮老母甘哪希望查某人会冻做总统 | |
| 我妈妈只是 | |
| 女人 可以 | |
| 厝边隔壁问裀到底是咧吵啥么 | |
| 邻居 | |
| 他们 在 | |
| 我讲没啦是阮兜咧搬三国演义 | |
| 我家在演 | |
| 此时忽然间煞飞出一台电视机 | |
| 却 | |
| 给看热闹的阿婆铿一咧昏昏去 | |
| 将 | |
| 打 下 | |
| 父：你们这些混蛋 不听老子的话 我打死你 | |
| 姐：来阿来阿 放马过来阿 你这个不知变通的贪官污吏 | |
| 兄：〈我受不了啦〉我欲搬出去阿 我欲〈宣布独立〉 | |
| 要 | |
| 要 | |
| 父：还说要独立 我打死你 | |
| 姐：对 打死他 打死这个坏东西 | |
| 兄：我听汝咧放屁 | |
| 你在 | |
| & % % ^ % % ^ & $ % $ % ^ $ % $ # $ | |
| 是谁讲民主时代政治舞台随人演 | |
| 说 | |
| 阮兜毋知安怎煞变作咧演此咧〈武侠片〉 | |
| 我家不 如样却 | |
| 在 这个 | |
| 〈鸡同鸦讲牛头马嘴羊头狗肉愈看愈讨厌〉 | |
| 扑贾〈落花流水〉乌鲁木齐亲像一间疯人院 | |
| 打得 | |
| 乱七八糟好 | |
| 我碰也喂...... | |
| 他捏捏的 |
| fu: ni men kan zhe he li tou de ya zi ta duo zi zai a | |
| xiong: hou a ba yin lie you shui de zi shi shi zai me shou shui nie | |
| a | |
| ta men yong | |
| fei zhang mei ye | |
| jie: a ge ni kan ya zi zai zou lu ye pi gu niu lai niu qu hao ke ai you | |
| zhu: sheng zuo xia fei tai lai zuo xian shui ya yi ding zhu hao shi | |
| zhang zhe me | |
| sha | |
| hen chi | |
| fu xiong jie: zhu tou pi | |
| mu: lai lai lai! shou qu xi xi lie lai shi fan luo lai zhu tou pi ti ma ma gei ci pan peng qu zhuo ding | |
| chi | |
| jiang na | |
| zhu: o o zhu bai long ma wo wu.... | |
| mei ci dou shi | |
| wo jia men qian you xiao he a lou zi cuo yi dong dong | |
| fang | |
| zhu gong tou zao yi jia wu kou zuo huo qu yun dong | |
| mei tian zao shang | |
| yi qi | |
| da ren shang ban jian zi shang ke guo de zhen qing song | |
| xiao hai | |
| li bai xiang zhao jiao you kao rou quan jia le rong rong | |
| xing qi tian yi qi | |
| wo de jia ting zhen ke ai jie: dui a da jia dou shuo wo men jia zui sao bao | |
| zheng jie mei man you an kang mu: zi dang ran ma shi wo de gong lao | |
| zhe dou | |
| xiong di jie mei hen he qi xiong: zhu tou pi jie ge ge qian hao bu hao | |
| fu mu dou ci xiang fu: lai lai lai da jia yi qi lai xi zao | |
| zhu: hao hao hao | |
| fu: lai ba ba wen ni men zhe san zhong yan se ni men xi huan na yi zhong | |
| jie: wo xi huan huang se | |
| xiong: wo jia yi lv se | |
| zhong | |
| fu: wo shi wen ni men qing se bai se hong se ni men xi huan na zhong yan se la | |
| xuan ju ruo dao ruan dou zhe xiang yi lie du juan wo | |
| yi | |
| wo jia jiu ge | |
| gui jia huo zi chao lai chao qu zui lan ruo luo yu | |
| zheng ge jia li | |
| kou shui xiang xia | |
| san dang da zhan ru si wo wang tou zao dao xia bu | |
| ni | |
| zao shang wu | |
| zhu bai zhe yuan jia mi fan shi mei luo quan jia tu tu tu | |
| mei ci dou chao de dong xi chi bu xia | |
| luan zao zao | |
| wo de jia ting zhen ke ai jie: ni men jiu zhi hui xing shi wu bi jin qian he bao li | |
| zheng jie mei man you an kang fu: luan jiang wo men ming ming feng xing san min zhu yi | |
| xiong di jie mei hen he qi xiong: mian lie gui xiao bie qi shi lia fang long bu shi dong xi | |
| bu yong | |
| bian dou | |
| fu mu dou ci xiang mu: long gei wo shan bian qu nen mu zi wo yao tuo di | |
| dou | |
| ni ma ma | |
| xiong: nen tai wan mi shi zi hen jiu a ge wu cheng ren ni shi tai wan ren | |
| ni men | |
| chi zhe me jiu hai bu | |
| jie: wo wei shi me yao cheng ren ren jia ming ming jiu shi zhong guo ren | |
| fu: hao le bu yao chao le wo men shi zai tai wan de zhong guo ren | |
| xiong: zhu tou pi lai gei ge ge jiang ni shi shen me ren | |
| gen | |
| zhu: chao ren! | |
| fu: pa zheng jing yi dian | |
| zhu:..... ji qi ren? | |
| jie: pa bu dui | |
| zhu: wu nan ren | |
| xiong: wu dui la | |
| bu | |
| zhu: wu dui an ni wo shi nv ren luo? | |
| bu | |
| zhe yang | |
| jie: ni men liang da dang hai an tong kuan qu na bian yao wu li fan tai la | |
| mu: yu wu li fan tuan chuang sha ruo yu wo zhe bao yu yin zhe hao a ma | |
| yao | |
| gan ma yao jiu | |
| gei ta men jiu hao le | |
| jie: ma wo shi shuo na bian yao fa she dao dan le la | |
| mu: hua se dao dan xin de cai se ni | |
| ruan jie zi ma ruan ba shi yi lie lao gu dong | |
| wo jie jie wo | |
| ge | |
| ruan ge ge ma ruan jie a shi yi lie chuan sheng ji | |
| wo | |
| wo jie jie ge | |
| ruan ba ma ruan ge ge shi yi lie pan luan dang | |
| wo | |
| wo | |
| ge | |
| ruan lao mu gan na xi wang cha mou ren hui dong zuo zong tong | |
| wo ma ma zhi shi | |
| nv ren ke yi | |
| cuo bian ge bi wen yin dao di shi lie chao sha me | |
| lin ju | |
| ta men zai | |
| wo jiang mei la shi ruan dou lie ban san guo yan yi | |
| wo jia zai yan | |
| ci shi hu ran jian sha fei chu yi tai dian shi ji | |
| que | |
| gei kan re nao de a po keng yi lie hun hun qu | |
| jiang | |
| da xia | |
| fu: ni men zhei xie hun dan bu ting lao zi de hua wo da si ni | |
| jie: lai a lai a fang ma guo lai a ni zhe ge bu zhi bian tong de tan guan wu li | |
| xiong: wo shou bu liao la wo yu ban chu qu a wo yu xuan bu du li | |
| yao | |
| yao | |
| fu: hai shuo yao du li wo da si ni | |
| jie: dui da si ta da si zhe ge huai dong xi | |
| xiong: wo ting ru lie fang pi | |
| ni zai | |
| shi shui jiang min zhu shi dai zheng zhi wu tai sui ren yan | |
| shuo | |
| ruan dou wu zhi an zen sha bian zuo lie yan ci lie wu xia pian | |
| wo jia bu ru yang que | |
| zai zhe ge | |
| ji tong ya jiang niu tou ma zui yang tou gou rou yu kan yu tao yan | |
| pu jia luo hua liu shui wu lu mu qi qin xiang yi jian feng ren yuan | |
| da de | |
| luan qi ba zao hao | |
| wo peng ye wei...... | |
| ta nie nie de |
| fù: nǐ men kàn zhè hé lǐ tou de yā zi tā duō zì zài ā | |
| xiōng: hòu ā bà yīn liě yóu shuǐ de zī shì shí zài me shòu shuǐ niē | |
| a | |
| tā men yǒng | |
| fēi zhǎng měi yě | |
| jiě: a gē nǐ kàn yā zi zài zǒu lù yé pì gǔ niǔ lái niǔ qù hǎo kě ài yōu | |
| zhū: shēng zuò xiá féi tái lái zuò xián shuǐ yā yí dìng zhù hǎo shí | |
| zhǎng zhè me | |
| shā | |
| hěn chī | |
| fù xiōng jiě: zhū tóu pí | |
| mǔ: lái lái lái! shǒu qù xǐ xǐ liě lái shí fàn luō lái zhū tóu pí tì mā mā gěi cǐ pán pěng qù zhuō dǐng | |
| chī | |
| jiāng ná | |
| zhū: ó ó zhú bǎi lǒng ma wǒ wū.... | |
| měi cì dōu shì | |
| wǒ jiā mén qián yǒu xiǎo hé ā lóu zǐ cuò yī dòng dòng | |
| fáng | |
| zhú gōng tòu zǎo yī jiā wǔ kǒu zuò huǒ qù yùn dòng | |
| měi tiān zǎo shàng | |
| yì qǐ | |
| dà rén shàng bān jiǎn zǐ shàng kè guò de zhēn qīng sōng | |
| xiǎo hái | |
| lǐ bài xiāng zhāo jiāo yóu kǎo ròu quán jiā lè róng róng | |
| xīng qī tiān yì qǐ | |
| wǒ de jiā tíng zhēn kě ài jiě: duì ā dà jiā dōu shuō wǒ men jiā zuì sāo bāo | |
| zhěng jié měi mǎn yòu ān kāng mǔ: zī dāng rán ma shì wǒ de gōng láo | |
| zhè dōu | |
| xiōng dì jiě mèi hěn hé qì xiōng: zhū tóu pí jiè gē ge qián hǎo bù hǎo | |
| fù mǔ dōu cí xiáng fù: lái lái lái dà jiā yì qǐ lái xǐ zǎo | |
| zhū: hǎo hǎo hǎo | |
| fù: lái bà bà wèn nǐ men zhè sān zhǒng yán sè nǐ men xǐ huān nǎ yī zhǒng | |
| jiě: wǒ xǐ huān huáng sè | |
| xiōng: wǒ jiǎ yì lǜ sè | |
| zhōng | |
| fù: wǒ shì wèn nǐ men qīng sè bái sè hóng sè nǐ men xǐ huān nǎ zhǒng yán sè la | |
| xuǎn jǔ ruò dào ruǎn dōu zhe xiàng yī liě dù juān wō | |
| yī | |
| wǒ jiā jiù gè | |
| guī jiā huo zǐ chǎo lái chǎo qù zuǐ lán ruò luò yǔ | |
| zhěng gè jiā lǐ | |
| kǒu shuǐ xiàng xià | |
| sān dǎng dà zhàn rǔ sǐ wǒ wáng tòu zǎo dào xià bū | |
| nǐ | |
| zǎo shàng wǔ | |
| zhú bǎi zhe yuān jiǎ mí fàn shí mèi luò quán jiā tú tú tú | |
| měi cì dōu chǎo dé dōng xī chī bù xià | |
| luàn zāo zāo | |
| wǒ de jiā tíng zhēn kě ài jiě: nǐ men jiù zhǐ huì xíng shǐ wǔ bì jīn qián hé bào lì | |
| zhěng jié měi mǎn yòu ān kāng fù: luàn jiǎng wǒ men míng míng fèng xíng sān mín zhǔ yì | |
| xiōng dì jiě mèi hěn hé qì xiōng: miǎn liě guī xiào biē qí shí liǎ fǎng lǒng bù shì dōng xi | |
| bù yòng | |
| biān dōu | |
| fù mǔ dōu cí xiáng mǔ: lǒng gěi wǒ shǎn biān qù nèn mǔ zǐ wǒ yào tuō dì | |
| dōu | |
| nǐ mā mā | |
| xiōng: nèn tái wān mǐ shí zī hěn jiǔ ā gé wú chéng rèn nǐ shì tái wān rén | |
| nǐ men | |
| chī zhè me jiǔ hái bù | |
| jiě: wǒ wèi shí me yào chéng rèn rén jiā míng míng jiù shì zhōng guó rén | |
| fù: hǎo le bú yào chǎo le wǒ men shì zài tái wān de zhōng guó rén | |
| xiōng: zhū tóu pí lái gěi gē ge jiǎng nǐ shì shén me rén | |
| gēn | |
| zhū: chāo rén! | |
| fù: pā zhèng jīng yì diǎn | |
| zhū:..... jī qì rén? | |
| jiě: pā bú duì | |
| zhū: wū nán rén | |
| xiōng: wú duì la | |
| bù | |
| zhū: wú duì ān ní wǒ shì nǚ rén luō? | |
| bù | |
| zhè yàng | |
| jiě: nǐ men liǎng dà dǎng hái àn tōng kuǎn qǔ nà biān yào wǔ lì fàn tái la | |
| mǔ: yù wǔ lì fàn tuán chuàng shà ruò yù wǒ zhe bāo yǔ yīn zhe hǎo ā ma | |
| yào | |
| gàn ma yào jiù | |
| gěi tā men jiù hǎo le | |
| jiě: mā wǒ shì shuō nà biān yào fā shè dǎo dàn le la | |
| mǔ: huā sè dǎo dàn xīn de cài sè ní | |
| ruǎn jiě zǐ mà ruǎn bà shì yī liě lǎo gǔ dǒng | |
| wǒ jiě jie wǒ | |
| gè | |
| ruǎn gē ge mà ruǎn jiě ā shì yī liě chuán shēng jī | |
| wǒ | |
| wǒ jiě jie gè | |
| ruǎn bà mà ruǎn gē ge shì yī liě pàn luàn dǎng | |
| wǒ | |
| wǒ | |
| gè | |
| ruǎn lǎo mǔ gān nǎ xī wàng chá mǒu rén huì dòng zuò zǒng tǒng | |
| wǒ mā mā zhǐ shì | |
| nǚ rén kě yǐ | |
| cuò biān gé bì wèn yīn dào dǐ shì liě chǎo shà me | |
| lín jū | |
| tā men zài | |
| wǒ jiǎng méi la shì ruǎn dōu liě bān sān guó yǎn yì | |
| wǒ jiā zài yǎn | |
| cǐ shí hū rán jiān shā fēi chū yī tái diàn shì jī | |
| què | |
| gěi kàn rè nao de ā pó kēng yī liě hūn hūn qù | |
| jiāng | |
| dǎ xià | |
| fù: nǐ men zhèi xiē hún dàn bù tīng lǎo zi de huà wǒ dǎ sǐ nǐ | |
| jiě: lái a lái ā fàng mǎ guò lái ā nǐ zhè gè bù zhī biàn tōng de tān guān wū lì | |
| xiōng: wǒ shòu bù liǎo la wǒ yù bān chū qù ā wǒ yù xuān bù dú lì | |
| yào | |
| yào | |
| fù: hái shuō yào dú lì wǒ dǎ sǐ nǐ | |
| jiě: duì dǎ sǐ tā dǎ sǐ zhè gè huài dōng xī | |
| xiōng: wǒ tīng rǔ liě fàng pì | |
| nǐ zài | |
| shì shuí jiǎng mín zhǔ shí dài zhèng zhì wǔ tái suí rén yǎn | |
| shuō | |
| ruǎn dōu wú zhī ān zěn shā biàn zuò liě yǎn cǐ liě wǔ xiá piàn | |
| wǒ jiā bù rú yàng què | |
| zài zhè gè | |
| jī tóng yā jiǎng niú tóu mǎ zuǐ yáng tóu gǒu ròu yù kàn yù tǎo yàn | |
| pū jiǎ luò huā liú shuǐ wū lǔ mù qí qīn xiàng yī jiān fēng rén yuàn | |
| dǎ dé | |
| luàn qī bā zāo hǎo | |
| wǒ pèng yě wèi...... | |
| tā niē niē de |
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