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Oh God, Oh God, life is real life |
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is when you wanna sing Polly-Wally-Doodle all the day, |
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Well you know, I may well be a sequel to Jaws, |
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in which a shark is attacked by a great white woman, |
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Actually I'm not going to do the sequel to Jaws at all, |
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I'm making the sequel to 'Emanuelle', |
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I call it 'Temple Emanuelle'. Actually it's not dirty at all, |
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it's just a lot of kissing and mezzuzas. |
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And er, one singular sub-plot, |
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in which a woman who has an un-natural relationship with a Kreplach. |
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I know there must be one or two of you out there, |
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who haven't got the vaguest idea what the hell is a Kreplach, |
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and to both of you I say... |
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A Kreplach is a person from Kreplachia, |
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which is a very small fishing nation wedged between Estonia and Latvia, |
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You don't hear from them too much since the iron curtain fell! |
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But every now and again, one or two Kreplach's manage to escape... |
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But NEVER to Cleveland! |
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(Audience Member:) YES! |
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(Audeince Member:) Not True! |
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What!? |
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There we have one Kreplach. |
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Who one Kreplach that managed to get to Cleveland! |
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In fact, I venture to say that was the Kreplach that ate Cleveland! |
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(Audience Member:) Are you sure!? |
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No, Belle Barth used to say: |
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'Shut your hole honey, mines making money!' |
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(Audience Member:) OH! |
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Ooh, she didn't say that! |
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I never said that, |
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I didn't say that, |
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I never said that! |
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Oh did you hear the news!? |
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You haven't heard the news, |
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I must tell you the news, |
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I am the harbinger of news here. |
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I slept with Jack kennedy |
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(Bette Laughs) |
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You wanna know what else!? |
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They slept with Jack Kennedy! |
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(Points to the Harlette's) |
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Talk about your bad pigs! Really. |
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Oh, I'm sorry Girls. |
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Oh my God, |
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Oh God, |
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Oh God, |
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Alright, |
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Oh God, |
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Oh God, |
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Oh God, |
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Oh God, |
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Alright, |
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Alright, |
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Alright! |
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Please forgive me everyone! |
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Please forgive me! |
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Just a little yolk, |
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Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke! |
