Day before yesterday, I picked me car up from the garage.
Geezer says, "Over there mate, key's in the ignition."
And I look—I cannot bloody believe it.
The car is only four-foot long!
I say, "what's this?"
He goes, "it's your car."
I said "what d'you mean, it's my ****ing car?"
He said "oh, that was what it was like when you drove it in here."
I said "don't **** me about! How did I drive that in? It's only two foot six tall!"
He goes, "you must have put on some weight."
I thought I was going ****ing mad!
Then the manager comes out, said "what the ****'s going on here?"
I said "I paid good money for this!"
He goes, "what's wrong with it?"
I said "what d'you mean, what's ****ing wrong with it!"
I said "look at the size of it!"
He goes "what?"
I said "it's only about four ****ing foot long, what the **** have you done to it?"
Then he says, "oh, well, that's how it came in,"
he goes, "I particularly remember that one 'cause I used to have one meself."
A ****ing four-foot vauxhall carton, oh ****ing yes!
And I said "is that it then?"
I said "is that what I have to drive away?"
And they said, "it's your car, take it or leave it, it's up to you!"
So I had to—I just had to ****ing squeeze into it, didn't I?
****ing knees round me ears.
In this four ****ing foot car, that's only two foot six tall!
I mean what am I, ****ing Noddy?
 
(Day, for, night)
****ing Noddy!
(Day, for, night)
Noddy!
(Day, for, night)
(Day for night)
(Day, for, night)
Noddy!