作曲 : Jaques
I punched him in the face I know that wasn't nice
I trod on both his testicles I know that wasn't right
I slit his throat from ear to ear I know that wasn't good 
If only mummy loved me I've been misunderstood
I gouged out both his eyes I know that that was rude
I urinated in his mouth I know that that was crude
I juggled with his eyeballs I know that wasn't good 
If only mummy loved me I've been misunderstood
They sent me of to prison I slit the warders throat
As he bled all over me how I did gloat
The judge said I was more evil than anyone or thing
If only mummy loved me if she had not been mean
When I was in my swaddling clothes she'd drink and drink and drink
My Father could have been a hundred men who at me used to wink
If mummy hadn't been a drunk and been on the game
If only mummy loved me I might now be sane