Someday I will be a granddaddy I'll be the laziest sonofa***** you ever seen I won't care if the children are being bratty I'll just walk around as if it's all a dream And if the whole world loses its mind I'll be fine Ride the roller coaster round the bend and back again If I live to be bout ninety five I'll just sit there on my porch and eat an apple They say one a day helps keep the doctor away And that's ok But I ain't taking any chances on my fate Gonna bounce you on my knees just in case When the time comes to burn out or fade away Like the rest of my life, I'll be running late If the time comes to put me in a home I'll be gone No desire to wander round alone I'll be gone, I'll be gone Someday when I'm a granddaddy Be as sweet as pumpkin pie, just wait and see We'll hide chocolate candy all around the house So all the little ones will come and see me We'll hide chocolate candy all around the house Then all the little ones will come and see me