You should stay away from roses 
And be careful to avoid chocolate hearts 
Keep distant from romantic notions 
Cause that's where love most often starts 
Be sure to steer clear of diamonds 
And mink coats are most certainly out too 
For if she goes in for that kind of thing 
Just might fall then what you will do 
You know you've always been the sort 
Who's truly only fond of the sport 
And who will never be satisfied 
Reclining in slippers by the fireside 
With a wife's constant nagging for things that you can't provide 
Who no longer bears resemblance to that soft spoken flower 
You were so desperate to have for your bride 
Too much conversing with a woman tends to dull a man's wit 
Never be taken in by poets 
Who claim that love if it's pure will never fade 
Though love may last all right in a bibliotheque 
In the real world man its too easily unmade 
So don't take your freedom for granted 
Don't let curiosity take you for a ride 
As years drag on when you wake up next to her 
You'll wish that in your sleep you had died 
You'll wish you had died